


The Hard Fight

by Stonebaer



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Arrest, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Convicted Criminal, Death Sentence, Default Shepard (Mass Effect), Drugs, Earthborn (Mass Effect), Execution, F/F, Fighting Club, Fluff and Angst, Lesbian Character, Lethal Injection, Murder, Origin Story, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Loathing, Smoking, incarceration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 19:45:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19979497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stonebaer/pseuds/Stonebaer
Summary: Commander Shepard has a dark secret that not even her partner, Liara, knows about. When the asari maiden finds it out their relationship faces an almost certain bitter end. Somehow they strive to get through this hardship. But just when things between them start getting better Shepard's past and her secret come back to claim her. Time has run out on the commander and she finds herself unable and unwilling to resist. She has given up on herself but her friends and loved ones have not. This story takes place during the events of Mass Effect 3.





	1. Super Soldier

After securing the Citadel from the Cerberus attack the Normandy headed for a much needed maintenance and resupplying. For the crew there was nothing else, but to take a few days of shore leave while the ship was docked. It was their first window for some R&R since the war began and everyone had already ventured off to different parts of the station to do just that. Commander Shepard made no exception, although she was spending her days sleeping like a corpse in her cabin. And that would normally seem strange, especially to her close friends, if not for the fact she went out alone the last two nights straight. Liara knew best how tired her bondmate was from the titanic burden placed upon her shoulders and tried to let her rest. But the maiden was worried, because Jane’s behaviour really was abnormal. Yes, the human could use a few more hours of sleep without a question, but not like this. Besides, when the asari had asked, Shepard had been oddly reluctant to reveal where she was going after dark. And the two of them simply didn’t keep secrets from one another. Not only that, but instead of using the shore leave to spend more time together, they communicated even less due to the sudden change in the human. For Jane to act so weird there had to be a problem and Liara was determined to get to the bottom of it, for both their sakes. So, since nothing else had worked, she decided to tail her lover the following evening.

As usual, that day the commander hadn’t left her quarters since she returned to the ship in the small hours of the night. She was surely sleeping and Liara had no intention of disturbing her, even if the whole situation demanded some answers. The scientist had to wait until her lover was up and going out again if she wanted to gain clarification. She tried to fill her day with activities to distract her mind from worrying about what she would find. But the nerves didn’t leave her, no matter what she did. Now it was late afternoon and she was sitting in the mess hall, drinking a cup of tea while waiting and thinking of Shepard. At least EDI, always helpful, was going to inform her when the human headed out. The minutes seemed to pass slower and slower, only amplifying the asari’s anxiety. She was all alone in the large hall, which was a knife with two blades for her. For one, in her core she was still not a social person and the solitude was comforting for her. Yet, right at that moment she could’ve used some distraction desperately. Thankfully, before long, the elevator hummed and with it Garrus showed around the corner.  
“Hey, Liara. You still the ship’s phantom this shore-leave? Why don’t you go out a bit, do something relaxing? C’mon, we can go for a few drinks.”  
“I think someone else qualifies best to be the phantom of the Normandy these last couple days. And thank you for the offer, but I am afraid I have other plans for the night.”  
“I get it. Do these plans involve a certain red-haired human?” The turian chuckled. “You and Shepard are turning into regular recluses. At least share her with her best friend for one night at the bar. I promise I’ll return her safe and sound.”  
The maiden’s mouth quirked a little at Vakarian’s chaff, but that was all she could muster in her current worried state. She placed her half-full cup on the table and looked up at her com-panion seriously.  
“That’s just it, Garrus. I would have shared if I could. But we have barely seen each other on this leave, let alone spent more time together. Shepard goes somewhere every night and comes back early in the morning without a word. Exhausted, she sleeps the whole day off. I asked her what she is doing, but she simply murmured an excuse under her nose and shut me out.” The asari explained, desperation starting to creep in her words. “There are no secrets between us. This isn’t like her at all and I am getting more and more worried. Besides, I’m sure this unnatural sleeping regimen won’t do her any good. And she is tired more than any of us, she needs all the rest she can get.”  
“Things are that bad? Damn. She hasn’t said anything to me. Spirits, Vakarian, you should be a better friend, you should’ve noticed something was wrong.” He scolded himself, looking away from Liara.  
“It’s not your fault. We are all forced to bear much in this war. And we have gotten used to irregular behaviour.”  
Liara finished her tea and stood up to put the empty cup away at the kitchenette. Before Garrus could add anything else the comm in the mess hall activated and EDI’s voice came through.  
“Dr. T’Soni, the commander woke up several minutes ago and is now preparing to leave the ship.”  
“Thank you, EDI. Has she said anything?”  
“Nothing. As you expected she has dressed casually and it would be a safe assumption to say she will be doing the same thing as previous nights.”  
The turian listened to the exchange and the gears in his head quickly clicked in place.  
“You’re going after her, aren’t you?”  
Liara turned to face him.  
“If she is not willing to talk about it even with me then whatever she has gotten herself into can’t be good. And if the only way to find out is to trail her, then I will. Even if it means vio-lating her privacy. I have to know she is alright.”  
“Let me come with you. Who knows, you may need help. With Shepard anything’s possible. Though I really hope it’s nothing bad.”  
The maiden frowned at him with uncertainty. What if this whole thing was a personal matter to her bondmate?  
“Come on, Liara. She’s my friend, I care for her, too. Besides, you know I’m right.”  
“Okay, yes. And Garrus… Thank you for what you’re doing.” She gave him a grateful smile.  
“As I said – you’re both my closest friends.”  
The two of them then headed together to the elevator. While inside the asari looked up.  
“EDI, where is Shepard now?”  
“She is at the exit hatch, leaving the ship as we speak.”  
“We have to hurry.” Liara said to the turian as the doors of the lift opened.  
They were going to rush ahead to keep the commander in visual range, but Ashley Williams happened to be in their way.  
“Whoa, where are you two running to? Wait. I just passed the Skipper at the entrance. She’s going out for the night.” The brunette quieted for a moment, then her words slowed and filled with suspicion. “Alone. With neither of you. …Are you… tailing her?”  
Garrus glanced at Liara, unsure of how they must respond. But in the end it was unnecessary, the lieutenant-commander was a smart woman and knew all parties involved well.  
“You are, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question. “Is something wrong with Shepard?”  
“Well, you know how she’s been acting strange lately…” The maiden quickly replied, fidget-ing in place, trying not to reveal more than she had to.  
“I thought she …did stuff with you, since both of you keep to the ship. But you’re here now so…”  
“I’m sorry, Ashley. We don’t have time.”  
Liara grabbed Vakarian by the arm and pulled him to continue on their way.  
“Wait!” Williams ran after them. “I’m coming with you. If the Skipper’s in trouble I wanna be there to help.”  
The asari had no time to argue. And how could she? Like her, Ashley still felt responsible for not being there for Shepard when it counted. So the three of them hurried to follow their commander. Luckily she hadn’t gotten too far and they began tailing her at a safe distance. Usually that would’ve been quite the challenge, but tonight Jane walked brooding, with a hunched posture. She wore her favourite worn hoodie with the cowl pulled over her head, her hands – shoved deeply in the front pockets. The woman had effectively shut the world out. The trio followed her carefully as she moved through crowds and alleys, leaving the docks at a steady pace and heading for the wards. She navigated the streets easily, obviously knowing where she was going. For half an hour they tailed her through the wards, the scenery quickly changing to poorer districts, then to darker shady places, filled with unsavoury odours, steams and criminal activity. As they went further in the three friends wondered what Shepard was doing in such a dangerous place. One thing was certain – she had to have a good reason. Though evidently she didn’t feel troubled by her bleak surroundings, on the contrary – she seemed quite at home here, intimately familiar with how things worked in the lower world. No surprise there, given her tough childhood as an orphan in the slums of Chicago. Yet this was Liara’s first chance to see Jane in what had been her native habitat for the longest time. It intrigued her, but it also saddened her, because she witnessed how that harsh life had woven throughout Shepard’s being. It was one of the rough chisels that had moulded the red-head into who she was now. Regardless, the result was one of the best individuals ever to thread across the galaxy.  
Liara was taken out of her thoughts by Garrus’ hushed voice.  
“Look there.” He pointed ahead and she and Ashley turned to observe.  
The commander had finally stopped in front of a small building. The place was pitch black, the only light in the premises coming from a small lamp over the entrance. The door was guarded by a single dingy batarian. Jane went to him to exchange words. The trio approached carefully until they were in hearing range.  
“…don’t like you. Go away.” The batarian was saying.  
“This thing’s open for everyone. I’m paying the entrance bet. So just let me in.” Shepard replied evenly, with annoyance.  
“You have a death wish, human?” The batarian asked with a nasty smirk.  
“Maybe. Now, are you letting me in or no?” The red-head was losing her patience.  
“Go ahead. I’m not the one who’s gonna regret it.”  
He laughed at her back as she entered the building.  
Around the corner the three friends looked at each other.  
“We need to get inside.” Liara said urgently.  
“I don’t think they’ll let us through the main entrance.” Ashley cut in.  
“We can find another way in. These places usually have several entry points. When I was in C-Sec most times when we dropped in on a drug exchange we would enter through a neighbour-ing building or a back door. There’s bound to be at least a vent we can use.” Garrus explained.  
“Okay, let’s go.” The maiden agreed and the trio moved to go around the building through the back alleys. Thankfully it was quick and they were at the backside in no time. The turian was right – there wasn’t a back door, but there was a window slightly above head level which they were able to open. Sneaking in, they found themselves in a small storage room. As they looked around they caught a noise – it was muffled, but it definitely sounded like the excited roar of a crowd. The companions went for the door. Carefully they peeked through and in-deed they were faced with the read of a rowdy crowd – turians, humans, salarians, asari… any and all kinds of individuals. The place was a big open room able to welcome many. Without a word the trio blended in with all the people, searching for their commander. Yet she wasn’t among the gathered. As they approached the front it was revealed that those people were spectators of a small ring in the middle of the room. Several containers were placed to form a closed circular space, keeping the audience around the outer edge. The inside was a makeshift arena. Garrus, Ashley and Liara set eyes on it and there Shepard was, together with a turian. On the other side out of the ring a batarian was propped up above the others, his voice shouting over the roar.  
“We all come to The Pit craving a good show! And tonight promises to be very interesting! For the next fight we have a veteran of this arena, a professional adored by the public for his merciless precision… Colonel Darius!”  
The multitude exploded as the bare-chested turian in the ring lifted his fists in the air. For a whole minute he was welcomed with fierce cries of support.  
“Against him stands a new challenger in The Pit. Some of you watched her these last couple nights. We shall see if her promising start turns into something more. I give you… Red!”  
Shepard didn’t react to her announcement, instead staying calm in her side of the ring, with face of stone. Unlike her rival she was wearing a simple sleeveless white vest. The crowd roared again, though this time not for the second fighter, but more with excitement and thirst for action.  
“Now that we have our challengers there’s one last thing before we begin. You guessed right – the rules! Here, in The Pit there’s only one and everybody knows it well… Everything is allowed!”  
The mob carried his cry, allowed, allowed, allowed…  
“So, are you ready?! Then let the blood spill!”  
With his words the fight started. Both contenders assumed a fighting stance and began circling one another. The turian didn’t rush recklessly, instead he was observing his opponent with a keen eye. It was clear that he was or had been a military man, unsurprising among his species. The crowd cried his name repeatedly, awaiting his move. And inevitable victory, judging by the wagers. Who would place their money on a soft human pitted against a hard turian? Inside the arena the tension was steadily growing. Liara, Ashley and Garrus were watching intently and noticed that Shepard was jumping impatiently. Without much consideration she lunged at her opponent. Her obvious left strike was easily parried and Darius followed with a tricky counter which she barely evaded. The turian didn’t stop and threw a series of quick punches at her. She parried and back stepped most of them, but he surprised her with a mid-air finisher kick. His foot connected with her solar plexus and she staggered back-wards, barely keeping herself from bending over. The crowd erupted in frenzy. Among the throng Liara’s hand shot up to cover her mouth, her heart missing a beat, her breath catching for a bit. Darius moved away and took stance while rounding his opponent. Jane regained her composure swiftly and lifted her guard back in place. The two were at it once more. This time the turian attacked first. His assault was initially repelled, but the red-head was hard-pressed to do so. She managed a single counter hit that landed on the turian’s mandible. It was very strong, but unfortunately he bore it lightly and it didn’t interfere with his momentum much. In the end her defence gave in again and she took a powerful punch to the left cheek. It sent her reeling and her back hit the container behind her. She braced her arms atop it to support herself and not slump to the ground. The impact shook her and she needed a second to clear her head. Darius was watching her, laughing with the crowd.  
“Is that all you can do, human? Ha! You’re wasting your breath. This arena isn’t for the likes of you. Better get your soft ass to the closest club and start shaking. Might be more successful.” He taunted her.  
The audience laughed even harder and he spread his arms in the air, spinning slowly and tak-ing in their approval. Shepard turned to the side and spit blood on the floor. Seething with silent rage, she sharply rushed at him and while he was distracted in his revelling she head-butted him square in the nose. Good thing she was very tall for a human, large too. Darius stumbled unbelieving then collapsed flat on his back, only incoherent mumbling coming from him. The mob quieted in shock as she stood above him, sheen of sweat showing on her shoulders and biceps. Her victory was short-lived though. Immediately the batarian announcer had a quick word with a shady individual and after a nod of understanding he turned to the ring. With a snide face and tone he spoke.  
“Bravo, Red. You delivered quite the surprise. Darius was one of our best. I daresay your superb victory deserves a fitting reward.”  
With a hailing sign from his hand three bouncers jumped inside the arena – a krogan, a batarian and a turian. They circled Jane and popped their knuckles menacingly.  
“You see, Red, we here at The Pit are wary of strangers, especially the kind that interfere with our business. And the colonel’s loss tonight will cost us dearly. So we must set things straight. Oh, and… the boss sends his regards.”  
The bouncers adopted his threatening grin and started creeping on her slowly while the crowd started to roar again, craving nothing but blood. As long as the arena provided action it didn’t matter who, why or how. Liara, Garrus and Ashley immediately began shoving people in an attempt to reach the ring and help Shepard. They were a step away from the crates now, but as their eyes zeroed in on the inside they stopped, instead watching in awe. In the arena the bouncers were almost over their prey, going to jump her in a second. In that instant Jane’s aura shifted. She remained standing, not giving ground, yet her visage turned dead serious, emotionless, with a piercing gaze. The lack of patience and unrestrained aggression from earlier were completely gone, replaced by the signs of the perfect soldier – focused with machine-like precision. First came at her the batarian. He sent his fist flying towards her head. With face of stone she simply twisted to the side with barely any movement. His arm met air and came to be stretched right in front of her chest. She caught his forearm in a vice grip with her left hand and shoved her right with great force in the back of his elbow, simultaneously braking the joint and dislocating the limb from the shoulder socket. The batarian howled with pain and staggered away from her, his arm dangling limply at his side. In the meantime, the turian bouncer had rushed towards the target for a double assault together with his batarian colleague. Mid-step he saw the development, but continued his now singular attack undeterred. His blow was far more technical, aiming to circumvent any guard the opponent might attempt seeing as she wasn’t facing him nor holding a proper stance. Standing with her profile to him – a bad move, he thought. He took the opportunity and aimed his punch at her ear – a weak point of the skull structure. Yet just as his knuckles were about to connect the commander turned like a flash and caught his fist. Or more like stopped it dead in its tracks. Next thing, she twisted his arm widely and kicked his legs, making him crash hard on the ground. The fall took all the air in his lungs and it seemed his forearm was disjointed. In the brief second he had the red-head occupied the batarian had found a baton from the crowd. Clutching it in his good hand he rushed forward and swung full-force at Shepard. As before she evaded the strike, this time more actively, falling into counter-attack position. Not giving him any chance to retract or defend, she immediately followed with a series of six swift punches to his ribcage. Three for the left side, three for the right, each hit accompanied by the loud sound of cracking ribs. The batarian didn’t even have time to reel as she continued by slamming her palms at the sides of his head, over his ears, effectively disorienting him, then finishing with an uppercut which sent the poor blighter flying. The batarian landed on his back, groaning and hardly conscious. Without break the commander turned, ready for the krogan rushing at her, wanting to smash her with his massive trunk. Instead of rolling out of his way, which seemed the only viable option, she bent low and met his mass straight on. The moment his body reached her she pushed up and forward, aiding with her arms, and toppled him over her. The krogan’s momentum carried him after that. His head crashed directly with one of the crates and he fell right behind Shepard. In that brief time the turian had gotten back on his feet. With no delay he lunged at her once more. Him being of a race of military nerds he had actual technique behind his strikes. But Jane wasn’t fazed by that, not the first time, not now. He tried a hook punch on her, hoping that if she managed his fist somehow, hopefully parrying, she won’t be able to avoid his elbow. Yet the human used her hand to redirect his blow, flinging his arm downwards between them. This caused him to lose his balance and make a step forward. She took advantage and stuck her foot behind his calf. She pressed his spur sharply, braking it off and ruining his knee at the same time. The turian buckled with an agonizing cry. This presented his exposed head to his adversary. Jane used that to catch his left mandible and pull it sideways. With a sickening crack it broke too. The bouncer’s scream hitched and he desperately tried to pull away from her. He was too slow and left himself open. The commander kicked him viciously in the gut, enough to probably tear his internal organs. He went down hard and like his batarian accomplice wallowed on the dirty floor, wheezing. With that only the krogan was left. Having stood up he was about to rush at her again. Shepard didn’t wait for his attack this time, acting first instead. She aimed for his throat. Much faster than him she shoved the sharp of her knuckles right at his jugular. First the left side, then the right, forcing him to choke panicky and stagger. At that she crouched and grabbed his knee. With three precision strikes at weak points of the joint and a final hard twist she broke his leg and send him flying to the ground. On the way down he tried to snatch her with his hand, but she moved away lithely and caught his arm. His own weight and the unnatural angle while falling did the rest to dislocate his shoulder with a nasty loud pop. Still coughing and fighting for breath he couldn’t rise and remained on the floor with the other bouncers. Shepard stood over them emotionless, barely a drop of sweat on her. The whole ordeal happened at the speed of lightning. In no more than ten seconds she had the three brutes grovelling at her feet. As it ended the room went deadly quiet, the multitude of spectators frozen in place with shocked expressions. Without a word the commander simply turned around and went for the exit of the ring. Just outside was the batarian announcer, dumbstruck like everybody else. She leaned closer and pushed a hand in his pocket, taking out the betting sheets. She left one on top of a container and waved the rest in his face meaningfully – her winnings. Keeping them in her clutch she headed for the exit with a disinterested gait. The crowd, still shaken by the brutal display, separated, forming a gap, making way for her. At the door she reached and picked her hoodie from its improvised hanger. Then she was gone without a second look, leaving The Pit in utter silence. Garrus, Liara and Ashley managed to shake off the shock quickly and made their way through the gathered people shoving. They hurried out to follow Jane.


	2. Dark Secret

Outside was dark and completely deserted. The trio rushed from the building exit only to halt and frantically look around. In the distance they spotted a shadow walking down the back alley street. Garrus, Liara and Ashley hurried in that direction. As they neared, the figure clarified – it was a hooded tall woman, her back turned to them. Before they reached her she stopped her slow pace and hunched into herself. There was a barely audible click and then a swirl of smoke appeared beside her head. She then continued forward. The trio following her was getting closer and soon picked up the smell that lingered after the woman. Williams immediately recognized it as weed. With a scowl she urged the others to speed up. They were no more than three steps away from their target when it halted abruptly.  
“You’re doing a piss poor job at sneaking in on a hostile.” The voice was low, too neutral for comfort.  
“So, you’re a hostile now, is that it?” Ashley demanded angrily and put a hand on the woman’s shoulder, forcing her to face them.  
“Why are you three here?” Shepard asked then blew a ring of smoke right in Williams’ face, grinning smugly.  
“We are here because of you.” Liara took the brunette’s place vehemently. “What is going on, Shepard? What is this?”  
“It’s a joint.” Ash answered for her.  
“A joint…?”  
“It’s made from cannabis - a mild psychoactive drug.”  
The asari’s anger was quickly replaced by surprise and worry. Then her brows knit as if she was scolding a misbehaving child.  
“Since when do you smoke?” Despite their powerful emotional bond, Liara still knew only the basics when it came to Jane’s early life. The woman had locked away most of her childhood behind nigh impenetrable mental barriers and though some of them had fallen before the asari, there wasn’t nearly enough time in the past three years for the rest of them to follow.  
“Old habits die hard.” The red head said and shrugged.  
“Does this include participating in illegal fights?” Garrus asked dryly.  
“Who said they’re illegal?”  
“Come on, Shepard. No sanctioned fighting club on the Citadel would try to hide its betting practices with paper sheets.” Vakarian growled with annoyance.  
The commander finally dropped the innocent act and glared at them menacingly.  
“If you have nothing better to do with your free time but pester me, I suggest you leave me be. Or-”  
“Or what? You are going to beat us to a pulp, too?”  
Liara’s hurt anger made Shepard wince with guilt for a moment before she hardened again with admirable ease and turned to walk away.  
“Do not dare turn your back on me! I do not deserve such a thing from you!”  
The accusing reprimand was enough for the red-head to halt mid-step, yet she didn’t face the maiden.  
“Look at me!”  
“Better if we quit the yelling. It attracts the wrong kind of attention around these parts.” Jane said evenly and turned around.  
Liara stepped closer to her lover and pushed the hood from her head. Their eyes met, but both of them remained silent.  
Closing her eyes briefly in an attempt to get a hold on herself, the maiden then asked quietly.  
“Is this about money? If you need credits you just have-”  
“I don’t need credits.” Jane sighed then lowered herself to sit on the ground and propped her back on the sidewall. “As it is, I barely have time to spend half of what I earn.”  
It was true. Although a soldier’s pay, even at the rank of commander, could hardly make a person rich, the war was stretching everybody’s time to the limits and Shepard was taking the brunt of it.  
“Then why are you throwing yourself headfirst into self-destructing acts?” Liara’s question held the fear that swam in Garrus’ and Ashley’s minds as well – that the commander had fi-nally had enough, that the enormous burden on her shoulders had finally crippled her nigh indomitable will. And since it was against Shepard’s very nature to take her own life, she would instead purposefully put herself in needlessly dangerous situations in the hope that she wouldn’t survive them. Yet this would not be the case this time.  
“As I said – habit. Self-destruction has nothing to do with it.” At her friends’ questioning looks she sighed and elaborated. “I belong in the underworld, it’s my natural habitat, the place I can navigate best. I always end up here sooner or later, it’s become an instinct. So, you were right, Liara. You deserve so much better than me.”  
“That is not what I said. It is not true.” The maiden said vehemently.  
“You don’t know nearly as much as you think.”  
The response wasn’t meant to be harsh, but it was nevertheless, and it jabbed straight into the asari’s heart. It was the truth and it pained her to no end that her lover hadn’t yet shared all of herself with the maiden, even if it was due to lack of time or difficulty to open up on Jane’s part.  
“What is it that we don’t know? You’re a hero, you’re a survivor. Your actions prove that you’re better than this.” Ashley’s words were aflame. Their fallout after Cerberus had been resolved and the brunette’s previous admiration for the commander was even stronger now.  
Shepard took another pull from her joint then let her head drop down to her chest as she ex-haled a thick cloud of smoke. Suddenly she was up and leaning over the shorter woman. Given the red-head’s considerable height of 1.97 metres, she stood taller than most others of her race, even the males. Add to that her strongly developed soldier’s physic and her current stance seemed damn right terrifying. But Williams stood her ground nevertheless.  
“The righteous and noble Alliance hero you admire so much isn’t real, Ash. And I’m as far from that ideal as you can imagine.” Jane spoke informatively.  
“So the woman I would gladly follow into hell itself is nothing but a fraud? Ha, it’d take more than even your own words to make me believe that bullshit.”  
“And what about the fight you saw back there? Isn’t it enough to tip you about my true nature?”  
“The one where you’re the perfect soldier? I think that’s something worth my admiration.” The brunette replied stonily.  
“Argh! No. The one where I’m the perfect killer. You think I couldn’t have finished what I started, that I wouldn’t? I spared those idiots on a whim. They still breathe only because I wasn’t in the mood to murder them, to deal with the bullshit after that.”  
“Why do you keep insisting you are a killer, worse – a murderer? We have only ever seen you kill when you have been left with absolutely no other option. You would readily put yourself at mortal risk long before you pull the trigger on someone who can still be saved. No matter how slim is the chance of that.” Liara said almost desperately.  
“Exactly. You’ve seen only this side of the coin.” Shepard shook her head with exasperation and turned around.  
“Then please, enlighten us about your foul deeds that we are not privy to.” The asari spoke aggravated.  
The commander looked at the others sideways, hunched. After a tense moment of staring she straightened to her full height and stood before them as if about to make a grand announcement. When she finally opened her mouth the voice that came out was clinical, just stating plain facts.  
“You’re looking at a convicted murderer with a pending death sentence.”  
The silence that followed spoke volumes that this was surprising news. The trio before her stood completely stunned. Liara in particular was extremely confused. She was the Shadow Broker and Jane was her bondmate and even still this was the first she heard about such a thing. She shook her head unbelieving.  
“Wha- What are you talking about? What do you mean ‘a pending death sentence’?”  
“Just that. The moment I can no longer serve the Alliance I am to be apprehended and execut-ed without delay.”  
“I do not understand…” If Liara could have become any more surprised that was it.  
“Executed?! For what?” Garrus had finally processed what entered his ears and his strong shock flowed through his near shouted words.  
“Five accounts of first-degree murder with extreme cruelty.” The answer was delivered with-out the bat of an eye and followed by a deep pull from the joint.  
“Is this your idea of a joke?!” Ashley demanded, dangerously close to furious.  
The stoic expression didn’t leave the commander’s face. Seeing this the brunette scowled with disbelieve and shock.  
“I will not believe this. The woman I love is not capable of it. Why are you telling me such things? Is it your intent to push me away in a foolish bid to save me?” The maiden’s eyes became watery as she raised her voice.  
A long deep sigh escaped Shepard’s mouth and she slacked visibly. It seemed that the whole story would have to be brought to light. Well, might as well finish what she had started.  
“Contrary to what you know, the Alliance wasn’t my salvation from street life. It was more my damnation. Back then I ran with the 10th Street Reds, one of the more deprived gangs of underworld Chicago. Dealing red sand was their morning relaxation. I had been with them since I was twelve and by the time I turned eighteen I was pretty high up their ranks. Most of the girls end up whoring themselves because it’s what brings in the most money. But I was a different case – the gang leader caught me thieving once and saw the potential in me as he put it. After that he took me under his wing. Soon I became one of his most trusted agents. There were no more than four or five of us and he used to send one of us for the biggest deals and jobs. It was just a couple days after my eighteenth birthday when he called me in his nest to speak in private. I knew he had a new job for me, but not that it was going to be the last. There was a new public prosecutor for the district, two months fresh on the post. And he was already causing trouble for the Reds. The man was young with a promising career and he was determined to put an end to the rule of the underworld gangs in his district. My boss had ordered the kidnapping of his eldest daughter and it had gone to crap. Our man had been discovered and the girl safely returned to her family. We no longer had a leverage against the prosecutor. The boss had little patience for the whole situation so he decided to take permanent steps to resolve it. I was to painfully kill the man’s whole family in front of him as punishment and then finish him off too.”  
A pause reigned, but nobody broke the silence. Shepard watched as she was already beginning to lose the confidence of her listeners in her. If nothing else at least these three people had the right to know the whole truth.  
“The prosecutor, his name was Derek Loris, had decided to take his family out of the city for the weekend. They had all become tired of the increased security after the kidnapping and a nice jaunt in the countryside must’ve looked very good. Without personal guard of course. Nobody was to know where they were except the higher ups in the Chicago Police Department who arranged the trip. But the Reds had deep roots in the CPD and I got a hold of that information. It was a piece of cake getting into their cabin in the dark of night. All of them were fast asleep and with some chloroform one by one I dragged them in the two-room base-ment. Derek I tied in a chair in the centre of the first room, his three daughters and wife – in the second. Soon after he was the first to wake up. I shot him in both kneecaps for good measure and his cries must’ve woken up the others. The look he gave me when his smallest girl called for him desperately told me he knew who and why had sent me. So without needless explanations I dragged his wife in the room with him. She was a beautiful woman until I started beating her. In the end her skull cracked under my fists, but the sickening sound was lost in the storm of her husband’s screams. I left her sprawled at his side and went in the back room. When I returned with his eldest, a promising student, real smart, he began pleading. Why are you doing this? Don’t you have mercy? You’re barely older than her, don’t ruin your life by killing. You’re still young, I can get you away from the streets, find you help. Just please, spare my children! I looked at him silently then drew my knife slowly across the girl’s throat. The cut was deep enough to be life-threatening, but not so much as to cause quick death. It took her two minutes to die in which she groped at her neck and choked on the blood. Finally, she spasmed at her father’s feet one last time then went still. The middle kid was the sweetest. When I brought her out Derek was cursing furiously at me. Damn you! By all that is sacred I hope you burn forever in the deepest pits of hell! I simply told him that I was already there. Then I stood with the girl in front of me so that she was looking straight at her father. Slowly I began to squeeze her throat. I was careful not to rush. At the beginning she fought me then her energy began to fade. There was time for her lips and eyes to go blue while she rasped for air. Then she went limp in my arms and I dropped her over her big sister. The youngest had no more than six years to her-”  
“Stop!” Liara cried out so loudly that the echo of her voice bounced around for a few sec-onds. She, Garrus and Ashley could take no more of it. And they had seen the worst of battles. The sheer brutality of the scenes and the clinical way that they were presented were too much for them. Add the fact that it was Shepard describing her own past actions with her own words and the whole situation was unbearable. In a while the asari squeezed her eyes with a deep frown. When she looked back up at the red-head her gaze was cold as the darkest part of the ocean. Her next words were deadly quite.  
“What happened after?”  
There was no need to elaborate on what she meant. Having shrunk even more and barely able to keep eye contact for more than several seconds at a time, Jane continued her story.  
“I was just about to leave the house when the Alliance showed up. There must’ve been some kind of training in the region because they were a whole platoon. Somehow they were alerted by the cabin and in an instant I was swarmed by fifty armed and armoured marines. They were equipped to take out a small fortified bunker and I had only taken gear to sneak and kill five civilians. My only advantage were the narrow corridors of the house. The only firearm I had was a silenced small calibre pistol – useless in the current predicament. So I had to fight my way through the old fashioned way. I dropped down a dozen and half hostiles before a bullet got me in the shoulder. It was enough to push me off balance. In the blink of an eye I was on the ground, three or four heavies on top of me, the rest of the platoon pointing their weapons at my head. I was lucky, the lieutenant in charge must’ve ordered a non-lethal action due to the civilian nature of the cabin. They took me in. I expected to be transferred to the CPD, there was no military crime committed. But it turned out the cabin was on military grounds. Near their border in fact, which made it ideal for civilians under risk. This fact placed the whole investigation and the following suit into the army’s hands. The case was quick and simple, my confession wasn’t necessary, even though I gave it without pressure, the good it did. The officer’s jury was unanimous – death sentence with no right to appeal. I was immediately taken to the maximum-security military prison outside Chicago. I had to wait for half a day until my sentence was to be carried out in the execution chamber department. When they finally came for me I was surprised to be dragged to an interrogation room. They cuffed me to the table and left me alone for a few hours. This was cut short with the door opening to let in none other than Admiral Anderson, though commander at the time and a complete stranger to me. He slapped a folder in front of me and leaned on the other side of the table. In less than fifteen minutes he laid out his offer to me. In exchange for my unconditional service to the Alliance for the rest of my life the death sentence would be suspended. Am I to retire at some point then the execution procedure is to be carried out immediately. Anderson gave me a choice – I could refuse the offer and go to the death chamber next door right away. I looked at him meaningfully, of course I was accepting. He then gave me the details of the deal that was to be signed between me and the Alliance. He would be my probation officer – if he so much as didn’t like the look in my eyes, a single word from him was enough to get me the lethal dose of chemicals. I would receive standard Alliance training and equipment and the chance to climb the ranks, but not above commander. I would be restricted from leading any units larger than two squads. Despite the allowed leniency I would still remain a prisoner of the Alliance until such a time comes when I am declared KIA or my sentence is carried out. And so here I am, fourteen years later. Throwing myself at death to escape it.”  
Shepard finished her story with a bitter smirk. Her joint had expired some time ago so she plunged her hand in her pocket, took another one out and lit it with an audible whiff.  
“Why did they make you the offer?” Ashley asked evenly.  
“Because of what you saw back in the Pit.”  
“And what was it that we watched? No training regimen in any military force can achieve this. And you clearly know it from before you were enlisted.” Garrus also sounded more distant than his usual self.  
“No training. It’s self-taught, somewhat. *sigh* The Reds gave me some hand-to-hand lessons, in real-time situations, but lessons nonetheless. I took the basics and began to add to them as I piled up experience in the hostile underworld. Then I made a simple conclusion and added knowledge of basic physiology to my toolbox. Later, when the Alliance caught me they quickly realized what was going on. I was told that I’m a tactical and strategical genius and that’s why I was extended an offer. I laughed at the notion of a kid without any proper education being a genius, let alone myself. Regardless, the Alliance trained me in the follow-ing years, honed my already considerable skills to the point of nigh perfection. They wanted me because I was the closest thing to a super soldier, one they wouldn’t feel any guilt over if she died. After Cerberus and my physical enhancements, the Alliance finally has what every military ever to exist wants – the perfect super soldier.”  
“Why?!” Liara asked shakily through a river of tears. She was so upset that she faltered if Garrus wasn’t nearby to catch her she would have fallen.  
“If you’re asking why I lied to you-”  
The maiden suddenly propelled herself forward until she bumped forcefully into the red-head’s chest. The motion startled Jane and she made a step back to steady herself and the asari, losing her smoke in the process. Liara franticly began slamming her fists on the human’s chest, crying inconsolably. Then her hands balled around the fabric of the simple T-shirt and she pressed the side of her head between them. Shepard lifted her arms to embrace her, but halted them halfway in the air, unsure of what to do.  
“Why did you do it? Why did you kill them?” The asari’s words were much quieter now.  
“I… was told to. I was loyal-”  
“I know there is a reason. Something must have made you, forced your hand in your own eyes. You would never have done it otherwise.” Desperation oozed from the young asari.  
“There’s no reason good enough for what I did, Liara. I deserve the punishment rendered unto me.”  
“No.”  
“The Commander Shepard you fell in love with isn’t real. I am the animal that happens to car-ry the name, this is my true self. I will never be free, I shouldn’t. And you sure as hell don’t deserve to have fallen into my clutches. I see you still have your innocence within you. Hopefully you will be able to keep it if you stop throwing yourself at me.”  
“Stop abasing yourself! I may not have known your whole story before now, but I know you. No one can hide their true nature in an asari meld, even if they can obscure the facts. You are not the cruel animal you present yourself as. Otherwise you would not be plagued by guilt over what you did.” Liara had drawn back enough to look up at her lover and speak vehe-mently.  
“Who said I was feeling guilty?”  
“You did. Way back to Derek Loris.”  
“What?” Not only Jane was surprised at the maiden’s statement, but the others as well.  
“When he cursed you, your answer was that you are already in hell. What is hell if not guilt over one’s actions? Even at the moment of the deed itself you were already suffering its effect on you. And after, you did not attempt to escape your fate, even though you do not know how to give up. One cannot help but wonder why, if not because of remorse. To this day you continue to feel strongly about what you did, waiting for the punishment you want, need. Yet you have long since redeemed yourself. Your death, you have given it. You have paid with your blood and suffering much more than was enough. And you have done more good and saved more lives than anybody else in the entire galaxy.”  
“Stop this. You shouldn’t praise me. You’re blinded by love. And I worry it’s too late to fix that if you’re not repulsed by a liar and a murderer of the worst kind.”  
“I do not remember you ever lying to me. Hiding some things perhaps, but never lying.” Liara managed a sad smile.  
“How can you be so sure? There might not be a single truth among the things I’ve told you.”  
“Was it a lie when you told me that you love me? That first time back on the original Normandy?”  
Shepard locked her jaw tensely then sighed heavily and shook her head. Looking vulnerably at the asari she said quietly.  
“No. Those words have been nothing but the pure truth every time I have said them to you. And they always will be.”  
Jane finally surrendered to Liara. Many things were still left unsaid, but they could wait for now. The commander touched the asari’s shoulder at last and when her hand wasn’t rebuked the corner of her mouth trembled slightly up. Then she looked past the maiden and at her oth-er two friends.  
“And what about you? Are you so gracious and forgiving?”  
Williams pursed her lips before speaking carefully.  
“I can’t condone such actions, no one should. The Alliance was right to sentence you as they did.” At these words Shepard nodded weakly with understanding then glanced at the turian. Yet Ashley, it turned out, had more to say.  
“But I do believe that you are not the same person who got caught in that cabin. You must’ve changed greatly after the Alliance enlisted you, because the Shepard I have only ever known has nothing to do with that murderer. I can’t say if you’ve paid for your crimes, if there is payment that would be enough. Yet I also believe in second chances. You have been given such and I think the way you’re living it is admirable. So, no, I won’t be turning my back on you a second time. I don’t want to repeat that grave mistake. Besides now would be the worst possible time to do such a thing.”  
Rarely did the commander look genuinely surprised. It took her a moment to process what she heard and then her expression turned very grateful.  
“Thank you, Ash. There’re no words good enough to tell you what this means to me.”  
Following that everyone looked at Vakarian expectantly. He placed a hand over his face and sighed.  
“I don’t know, Shepard. After everything you taught me about having to do the right thing, solving problems the best way, not the fastest… And now this. It feels too much like a betrayal.”  
It was hard hearing this from her best friend, but Jane couldn’t expect something much too different after what she confessed.  
“Yet I’ve seen you uphold the morals you speak of with my own eyes. Many times in fact. And I think that in your case actions weigh more than damning words. What you’ve done is abhorrent, but it’s in the past. What you’re doing now is what matters and I wholeheartedly stand behind it and you.”  
The tension popped like a balloon and it took the commander a second to find her speech.  
“I- I will remember what you gave me today. And I will try to live up to it, earn it for the rest of my days. Thank you, all of you.”  
Shepard felt so ashamed in that moment, in her mind she didn’t deserve their generosity. And her feelings were painted on her face. In the end she could only give her best to be worthy of this gift and hope it would be enough.  
“Well, now that this is over can we get out of here? I’d rather be someplace else.”  
Ash said.  
“It’s charms not good enough for you, Williams? You wound me.”  
“Yeah, well. I doubt you want to keep your girlfriend here, Skipper. It’s hardly romantic.”  
“That’s because we’re not alone.”  
“As much as I try to relate to you, love, I would have to agree with Ashley in this case.”  
“Come on! What’s not to like about dark back alleys? They’re quite and everybody avoids them, so - no unpleasant interruptions.”  
“They also stink and offer no comfy beds, or surfaces for that matter. There’s a reason nobody wants to go there.”  
“Fine, I give up! Let’s go.”  
The four of them walked away together, resuming their banter.


	3. Monster

“Why did you hide this from me?”  
Liara and Shepard were at the loft after finally getting back to the Normandy.  
“I was forbidden from disclosing any information about my deal with the Alliance.”  
“That might have mattered in the beginning. But not after we gave into each other. You should have told me before taking me to bed on our way to Ilos.”  
“Would you have still wanted to be with me if I had told you I am a convicted murderer?”  
Liara remained silent with a grave expression.  
“And here’s your answer.”  
“Yes, you are right. I would have been halted by the revelation. And I would have made a mistake.”  
“What?”  
“As it is the fact that you are a criminal has not changed the way I feel about you.”  
“You can’t be serious! Think about it! Am I the same person you knew two hours ago? No. In your eyes I should be a completely new stranger.”  
“Do not presume to know how I see you.”   
“Aren’t you afraid?”  
“No.”  
“Dead wrong.”  
Shepard made a lightning fast movement and in less than a second Liara was pinned with her back against the wall, her arms immobilised by a single much stronger hand above her head. Fingers of steel closed around her delicate throat, pulsating with the threat to squeeze and stop her air. A freezing whisper reached her ears and the tickle of moving lips caressed her cheek.  
“A single flick and you’d be nothing but another lifeless body dangling in my hands. I could kill you, rape you, torture you, do whatever I want with you and there’s nothing you could do about it.”  
“Is this who you want to be?”  
The commander pulled back to see the maiden had closed her eyes and a lonely teardrop was flowing down her cheek. In that moment she was struck by her own actions and a wave of self-loathing so strong hit her that she staggered several steps away, releasing her captive and turning to the side with shame and regret.  
“Okay, I will make it simple. You are going to answer my every question absolutely truthfully. Otherwise I will leave and you will have to really hurt me to keep me here another second. Am I clear?”  
Jane couldn’t bring herself to look at Liara, so she just nodded her assent.  
“So, I ask again. Is this the person you really want to be? A cold hearted murderer to whom the life of others is but a toy?”  
“No.”  
“Then why act like you are that monstrosity?”  
“I…”  
“Look at me. I said look at me!”  
Shepard had to use all her might to do so. And when she did it was so anguished.  
“Answer me.”  
“I don’t want to be that thing, but I’m afraid I already am.” Jane couldn’t bear it anymore and collapsed on her knees in front of the asari. “And I’m afraid that I will hurt you because of this. So, I figure the best way to protect you is if I scare you away.”  
“Do you still think so after you tried to do it?”  
“I… Yes.”  
“Do you not feel any remorse?! Anything at all?”  
“I feel like I did something much worse than killing or torture. Like the taint could never be cleansed off of me.”  
“Good, you should. But then why do you still think it is the right thing to do?”  
“I don’t know of any other way to keep you safe. And how I’m left afterwards doesn’t matter to me.”  
“Is any of this part of the reason you did not tell me the truth before Ilos?”  
“No. The reason for that was purely selfish. I was afraid to lose you.”  
“Yet you no longer are.”  
“No, I still am. I just realised I am more afraid of causing you harm.”  
“And what you did just now? What does that count for?”  
“God, what have I done?!” Pure horror was painted on the human’s face. She stood up and with wide staring eyes lifted a hand towards Liara. Mid-motion she stopped and turned around, grabbing her head in her palms.  
“Do you love me? Do you even know what that means?” The maiden whispered.  
“I’m not sure. I burn inside like liquid fire every moment I think of you. I feel like a star about to go supernova when you are in the same room as me. And when you touch me my mind empties, my heart almost jumps out breaking my ribs and my whole world becomes only you. If that is love, then yes, I love you more than anything.” She glanced at Liara timidly. “But I cannot understand how you could love me. No one could ever love a monster like me. No one should.”  
“Perhaps you are right. Yet I do love you. Otherwise I would not be hurting so much now.”  
“So despite my wish to protect you, my own actions brought you harm. And all because of fear. Well, at least now I know for sure how low I’ve fallen.”  
“Even so, I stand behind what I said earlier on the streets. I refuse to believe I love a heartless person when I have intimately seen and touched your heart and mind. You are not truly a monster inside.”  
“Are you going to redeem me?”  
“No. That is your job. I love you, but you hurt me. You will have to earn my forgiveness.”  
“How?”  
“I do not know.” The maiden looked down and shook her head. The she left and silence filled the room.


	4. It's Not That Easy

On the next evening Commander Shepard did not leave the Normandy like the previous times. The ship was still rather deserted at that point. The crew had no idea that anything at all was transpiring, except Garrus and Ashley. The two of them knew that the relationship between Shepard and Liara had been dealt a serious blow and was threatening to break despite it being incredibly strong up until now. But regardless of their opinions on the matter, it was strictly personal and they had respected their friends’ privacy. Both Williams and Vakarian thought they maybe had to do something or at least support T’Soni, talk to her. But they had no idea what could be said or done in such a situation. And neither of them was ready to speak with the commander, on the other hand. So, the two snipers remained at a distance and hoped everything would get resolved peacefully, whatever the outcome, even if deep down they wanted Shepard and Liara to stay together. Their love was so strong that it was clearly felt by anybody close enough. And the two women needed each other to get through these difficult times. In any case, when the commander descended to the mess hall, it was devoid of living presence. It was a godsend, since she had no courage to face Liara in front of another person, no matter who. The red-head approached the ship’s XO office. The door did not open for her, but she had not expected it to anyway. She was reduced to knocking and to her it felt right, it was what she deserved. But when she did knock nothing happened. Shepard waited for several minutes in front of the offending wall not daring to knock again. In the end, her head drooped and she was about to turn around and leave defeated. Just then a hiss pierced the eerie silence and the interior of the office was revealed. Liara was there, in front of her monitors as usual, but unlike other times she did not even deign to acknowledge Shepard. The human woman stood awkwardly at the precipice for a few moments then finally entered the room proper and the door closed behind her.  
“Welcome, commander.” Glyph, the drone, said monotonously, barely interrupting its current task.  
Jane did not reply to it. Instead she was wriggling her fingers and staring at the floor like a child caught stealing from the cookie jar. She had the bravery to face a Reaper head on and emerge victorious but right now she felt like the biggest coward in the world. At last, she mustered enough courage to open her mouth. The words were barely audible and being comprehensible was not even part of the picture. Suddenly, there was not enough air in the room. Jane inhaled shuddering and tried again.  
“Liara, I…”  
The asari finally turned to face her. But she did not speak nor did she do something at all, except looking at the red-head expectantly with a stone-like face. It made things even harder for Shepard who stared at her and could only open and close her mouth silently. In the end Jane could not bear it any longer. She dropped to her knees powerless and bent forward, supporting her weight on her hands. Her head was bowed in front of the maiden.  
“Please… Forgive me. I beg you. I can’t bear it. You not even looking at me. The numbness in your eyes when you actually do.” Her voice broke, she was visibly trembling whole. “Please, Liara… Forgive me… Please...”  
Shepard was rocking back and forth slightly, the ground beneath her head was stained with shining wet droplets. But nothing was coming from above her. Liara was not responding to her plight in any way. She was just standing there, still only watching. That drove Jane even deeper into the hole of despair and madness. She was starting to lose it and her next words were suddenly shouted without a shred of control.  
“I beg you! Please! I will do anything! Whatever you want, for as long as you want. Just say the word and I’ll do it. Please… Anything… I’ll do anything, Liara!”  
In the end her fuel ran out and she grabbed her head in her palms, rocking even harder.  
Liara was a long way still from forgiving but she had not lied when saying she loved Shepard like before, no change. And she despised the image before her right now. It was almost impossible to remain cold and impartial. So she bent and took Jane’s forearms in her hands, pulling her up.  
“Stop. Shepard, stop this.”  
Her command was devoid of the usual warmth when she spoke to her lover. The red-head did not budge, either because of that or because of something else. But it did not matter. Liara became frustrated and her next words were a bit forceful.  
“Oh, for goddess’ sake! Just stop and get off the floor!”  
Jane finally stumbled up unsteadily and looked at Liara with a messy face. Awkward silence settled between them. And then…  
“S-Sorry… I’m so-… Sorry…” Shepard mumbled weakly and lowered her gaze shamefully.  
The maiden sighed and waved her hand aimlessly in the air, frustrated with her own confused feelings. She shook her head and finally spoke.  
“Look, Shepard, I do not want you to do anything. Especially if it is only because I said it. You are not my servant.”  
“But I love you, Liara. Doing what you want is part of this.”  
“That is not always true. You know that. Besides, what you just offered me is not the same thing.” The asari sighed again. “It is also not going to earn you my forgiveness. These things are not so easily fixed.”  
“B-But… But I don’t know how else… You- Don’t you want to fix them? Us?” Jane said shakily, looking timidly at her lover.  
“I said that I love you. And I mean it. But you hurt me. We cannot wave a magic wand and make the pain disappear in a moment.”  
“I can’t take it, Liara! You say you still love me, as strongly as before. Then why does it feel like I’ve already lost you irreversibly?” The red-head raised her voice again, more tears coming from her eyes.  
“I cannot pretend everything is fine! You lied to me about having committed murder and having a pending death sentence, for Goddess’ sake!” Liara interrupted herself before letting her feelings take over. She took a deep breath. “Okay, fine. You want to do something to fix the problem. I understand, I know your very nature demands that you act. But fixing whatever this is will take both of us. It cannot be one-sided. And to answer your question: yes, I want to fix it. But if we want to actually do this, we have to be honest, open and mindful of ourselves and of each other. We have to be mature about what we are doing, act like the adults we are, otherwise it is just going to be a waste of time. So, I suggest we start with small steps, okay? What do you say we go out for lunch tomorrow? It will give us the opportunity to talk, begin the process.”  
Jane nodded, trying to calm herself, keep it under control.  
“It is settled then.”  
“Yeah… Liara… I… Thank you for giving me a chance and a way to do this.”  
The maiden nodded silently.  
“Perhaps, I should leave now. Let you work…” Shepard said, hope seeping from her words that her lover would halt her.  
“Yes. I would appreciate it. And we will see each other tomorrow.”  
The finality in Liara’s voice was clear. So, without another word or gesture the commander left the office.


	5. It's My Turn to Give. And I Give You My Past

The following day Dr. T’Soni sighed heavily before leaving her quarters on the Normandy and headed for the Presidium. She arrived at Restaurant “Marchen” a bit earlier. The place was nice but not too formal, no gala dinners would ever be held here. The asari asked for her table and a waiter led her to a spot for two by the window with a gorgeous view of the Presidium gardens. Thankfully, it was a bit secluded from the rest of the restaurant. While waiting, Liara found herself enjoying the view. Outside was the most bustling place on the Citadel and even with the Reapers on a rampage across the galaxy the streets and shops were busy as ever. Yet the open space was large enough to accommodate everything and still not look crowded. If one wanted, Dr. T’Soni’s spot could easily be used for spying. ‘Ugh.’ Liara thought, ‘I am getting a little too much influence from the Shadow Broker job.’ She willed herself to just continue enjoying the sight. However, something down there caught her attention and she focused on it. A blob of red hair was moving through the street purposefully. Liara would know her lover from a mile away, not that it was hard when that person did not only have a fiery mane like no other but was also the most famous human in the Milky Way. Though the asari herself found the commander’s gait and mannerism much more telling than her physical features. Regardless, the archaeologist’s gaze followed Shepard as she navigated the Presidium. Suddenly, the soldier was halted by something. At first her figure was obscuring the view but then the reason became visible. A small human boy accompanied by a turian woman who had her palm on his shoulder. The boy was tugging Shepard’s sleeve with his hand. The marine turned to face him and the turian and then crouched to be on the same level as him. Liara could not hear what they were saying but she saw how the boy’s face was contorted with trepidation. Jane said something and gave him her trademark lopsided grin. This immediately had an effect as he also smiled at her. Something passed between their hands, a small object, indistinguishable from afar. Then the boy threw himself in the red-head’s embrace and she held him fast. When they parted Jane’s palm reached for him and cupped the side of his face, her finger gently stroking. The boy was crying, yes, but his expression was one of happiness. He smiled widely at her again and she returned it. Shepard rose up and ruffled his hair. After that she nodded at the turian with him and left them. As she went her own way the two of them hurried on to the elevators.  
“Sorry I’m late.” Shepard’s voice sounded above Liara and the maiden turned to see her lover standing beside the table sheepishly.  
“Do not worry about it. Five minutes can barely count as being late.”  
Jane looked at the asari for a moment, a bit surprised, but said nothing and pulled the opposite chair to sit.  
“You are in… quite the sunny disposition.”  
Before Liara could respond the waiter arrived.  
“What can I offer you today, ladies?”  
The order took a brief time and once the man left to see to it awkward silence fell at the table. Finally, Jane mustered the courage to brake it.  
“Yesterday you were the one to take the initiative. And if you hadn’t, you and me might have never been ‘us’ again. This means everything to me and I have no words to express how grateful I am to you, Liara. So, it’s only fair that now is my turn. As you said the process can’t be one-sided. That’s why today I’m going to give from myself to you. No more lies, no more hidden truths.” Shepard smiled cautiously but when Liara returned it slightly she continued more assured. “I’m going to lay my whole life in front of you, all my thoughts, all my feelings. And let you be the judge. I think I should start at the beginning. Small steps, right?”  
The waiter brought their order and Jane used the pause to muster enough strength to tell her story.  
“So, I don’t know where my life began, where I was born. But one stormy night someone knocked on the door of the orphanage in downtown Chicago. They almost punched a hole so the orderly nurse hurried to open. Outside a battered tall woman stood. By her clothes and makeup, it was obvious that she had come from the pimps’ street. In her arms she was holding tightly a small bundle in dirty blankets. A baby. Without a word she shoved the child in the nurse’s hands and ran away. The nurse did not chase after her. It was not the first time a prostitute had left her fatherless, nameless baby at the doorstep of the orphanage. Or so I was told while growing up. Kids with this particular origin story have little meaning for the institution, just heavy weights on the already small budget. No known relatives to squeeze money off of. So, I was only kept so that the orphanage wouldn’t be prosecuted for throwing out one of its wards. My whole time there I was taught that I was nothing, nobody, a nameless brat. For the first ten years of my life I was only ‘the red one’ or ‘she’ or even ‘it’ and every day the only care I received was a leather belt to my hide. They would keep me under lock and key for weeks if I committed even the smallest transgression and the system would always turn a blind eye. It was easier that way, more convenient. At first I was afraid of the nurses, the belt, the pain, the small dark room. But time passed and I became numb to it all, accustomed even. Then after yet more time the anger began sparking inside me. At the beginning it made me brave enough to act. I tried reaching out to the other kids. But they were like animals, we all were. Survival above everything else. In the orphanage it was every man for himself, against all others, alone. So, I returned to avoiding them and focused on myself. I tried to learn to read and write, count. A vain hope when there is only one book in reach and you can barely speak. But I managed to learn enough that when I broke into the head nurse’s office I was able to find my file and read some of it. The nurse caught me a few minutes later and gave me the worst beating since it all started. But I had seen what I wanted: the name field in the folder was filled in with ‘Jane Doe IV’. I could only understand the first word but it was enough. I finally had a name. It stuck with me for the next few years. But afterwards I always won-dered why the nurses wouldn’t use it now that I knew I had one. By that time my anger had quickly grown and I was unable to contain it anymore. If I wanted to keep my life, I had to leave this place or the beatings would get worse and worse until I was killed. Only after I escaped that hellhole I learned what ‘Jane Doe’ actually meant. It was just another word for ‘nobody’, for ‘a person with no name’. And I had even been given a number – the fourth. But I was not even in puberty yet and I had nothing else except the name from that orphanage file. So, I kept it, made it the first thing I ever really owned. I left the orphanage with only the rags on my back. But I had gained something much more important. I had a name, I knew who I was. I was Jane. Soon afterwards I was arrested by the police for the first time and after that it became a common occurrence. Which meant I needed more than the one name I had claimed. I had to fill forms even if I could barely write, and they had two name fields. I had no idea what a surname was. I figured it was just another name I could be called by and if the police wanted two to let me go, I had to provide. There was this mad preacher three blocks from where I slept. Once, I ventured as far as his makeshift rostrum in search of food and I heard him talk to a group of other waifs. He spilled his nonsense at them and they watched him in awe. I wasn’t about to stay and listen, I was still too afraid of most anything. So, I hurried my own way and hid in the shadows but not before I heard the bellowing end of his rant. ‘Call me Shepherd, for I am your shepherd!’ The way his public regarded him with awe made his words stick with me. And when I had to write down my full name on the form in the precinct that was the first thing to cross my mind. I had no time, I had to write something, so I did. Back then I didn’t know but I had spelled ‘shepherd’ wrong and when the policeman checked the documents he frowned at me. ‘Are you sure that’s your name?’ His condescending question cemented it for me and I haughtily replied that ‘Of course’ I was. That’s how I became Jane Shepard. It felt good, no longer a substitute for missing information but a built name filled with meaning through my own experience. Later, in the 10th Street Reds I would be known as Red, not only because of my hair but also because of my bloody job and my pivotal standing within the gang. But it didn’t matter to me how others called me as long as I had my own real name. Anyway, after escaping the orphanage I was living on the streets in dark alleys behind dumpsters, fending for myself from other people’s trash. As I said I felt primarily fear for a long time, I was running on instinct, my name – the only thing separating me from the roaming animal curs. But desperation born of gut-wrenching hunger can be much stronger than fear. I had been starving for more than a week. Dying was a very real and close prospect for me at that point. I knew I had to find something to eat in the next few hours and the surest place where food could be found was a storehouse on 10th Street. The only problem was that it was property of the notorious Reds, the most vicious gang in Chicago. That was why nobody ever attempted to grab food from there even if it was the only certain source. But I figured I was going to die anyway so being killed by the Reds while trying to steal from them didn’t seem like much of a risk. It was daytime when I headed to the storehouse, all the better – no underworld gang does business in the light. My chances of finding the place empty of people were higher. I slipped inside without seeing anyone on the grounds. It looked like luck was finally on my side. Finding the food cashes was easy enough. I took off my shirt and filled it with cans and bars until it almost tore. Then I hurried the way back. Just then a gust of wind blew through the punctured sheet iron walls and rattled a dangling metal bar above the cashes. It fell with a deafening crash which echoed through the space. I hadn’t seen them but there were people on the other side of the crates and the commotion drew their attention. I ran for the crack that was my exit but just as I was closing in a dark figure suddenly stood in my way. A large bald man with long full black beard, light complexion and turquoise eyes looked down at me and crossed his arms on his chest. When he spoke his voice was so deep it sounded like the rumble of shattering earth. ‘What have we here?’ He said. ‘A little rat thief who almost made a fool of me. Would’ve gotten away like a master if not for the whims of mother nature.’ He grinned and grabbed the hem of my shirt pulling it from me. In that moment I was not afraid, no. I felt the anger lying dormant in me return full force and become focused rage. I was going to keep the food, period. I looked him in the eye with steel resolve and held my improvised sack and its contents with a death grip. But I was no match for him. He just grabbed me by the back of my torn vest with one hand and lifted me from the ground. I hung in front of him like a weak defenceless kitten, the cans falling to the ground with a loud clang. I tried to kick and claw my way out but to no avail. He simply gauged me passively and waited for me to stop and surrender. Instead, I managed to lift myself and bit his arm with all my might. The man didn’t react whatsoever let alone drop me as I’d hoped. He just used his other hand to dislodge my jaw. With another grin he pulled me close to his face and grumbled smugly. ‘I like you, little rat. You’re feisty. And I’m gonna keep you.’ He brought me to a nearby chair and set me down then opened one of the cans for me and ordered me to eat. That’s how I met Ferdinand Socolow, better known as the Razor, the ruthless leader of the 10th Street Reds. He kept his word, kept me and in a way I was grateful because I was off the streets. And though it sounds preposterous, Socolow was the first person who ever felt love for me. True, he was never kind with me but he really cared for me in his own way – he respected me and taught me how to not only survive but also how to live. And for all that I respected him back, in my eyes he was a strong leader whom I followed without a question and in whom I believed. The years passed, the jobs were many and I quickly became Socolow’s best asset, assassin, fighter, confidant, right hand. At the end I think he even trusted me. And I have never betrayed him to this day even if I was captured after completing my last task. I know I don’t owe him my loyalty but I can’t help it. Despite the fact that Ferdinand gave the order I can’t blame it all on him, I am responsible for what I did to Derek Loris and his family, no matter that I was just being loyal.”  
Silence fell. Liara had adopted a brooding expression somewhere along the way and had been staring unseeing at the small vase in the centre of the table. She rubbed her forehead lightly, sighing in consideration then looked Jane straight in the eyes and asked evenly.  
“If Ferdinand Socolow comes back in your life now, will you return to his side faithful as ever?”  
Shepard pursed her lips.  
“I… don’t know. In my mind I know what would be the right thing to do – turn him over for his many crimes. A part of me wants to kill him, exact revenge for myself if not for all the lives lost simply at his word. And then there’s the part of me that will always have the urge to be loyal to him. After all, he did save me in more than one way even if he made a twisted murderer out of me in the process. In the end I think that I would do neither of these things, I would be caught in a net of indecision. In the end I think I would simply… let him walk away.”  
Liara remained quiet and Jane sighed.  
“I keep letting you down, I’m sorry. I’m really not the righteous hero Ashley sees when she looks at me, nor the tireless pursuer of justice Garrus does. I’m fallible in so many ways and you suffer the worst for it.”  
“Perhaps. But I am also the one who sees you with full clarity. And to me you are just a human being. Fallible, yes, but also with the power to change, learn from your mistakes, become better. Ferdinand Socolow may have defined you in the past but now that he is gone it is up to you to decide who and what defines you in the present. I can forgive all the horrible deeds you have committed in the past. The world is not black and white just as you are not entirely good or bad. For a long time, you were a victim and you had no help, no power and you were forced to make mistakes. But I will never forgive you if you let yourself be defined by Socolow now when you have all the strength to resist and more. You say you continue to fail me? If that is so, only you can stop it. And I believe you know what to do, you just have to put enough effort in it.”  
With that Liara stood and left the restaurant. Shepard did not say anything, did not try to stop her or follow her. She was too absorbed by the maiden’s words, a storm raging in her mind while on the outside she was still and stone-faced. It even took her several seconds to realise the waiter was standing beside the table. She asked him absently for the bill and soon after exited the “Marchen” brooding, hands tucked in her pockets.


	6. Definition of Good and Bad

Commander Shepard had just returned from a particularly bloody mission from N7 ops. Hackett had sent her to rescue several dozen hostages from a still operating crime syndicate off of Omega. When her squad touched ground it had been almost too late. The original plan had been to infiltrate the place and quietly take down all hostiles before they could harm the hostages. They had the gear and the skills for it but the gangsters had changed tactics and begun shooting the captives in groups. Ten people had already been gunned down when Shepard’s team managed to subdue the gangsters. Only the leader had remained, closed off in the execution chamber along with another group of five hostages. The commander and her comrades had breached the room and seeing his inevitable defeat the gang leader had raged. Shepard had not been able to do anything but bear witness as five helpless people were being slaughtered. As fast as she and her squad mates had been they had only managed to take down the leader after the horrible deed. When all had settled the place was swimming in fresh blood and half the captives had become gruesome corpses. The commander was now taking a hot shower to remove all the grime from her body and images from her mind. But no amount of water or heat was going to bring her peace. Fifteen people were dead because she had not been strong enough, smart enough, fast enough. It was her fault and she had to live with it. ‘Fitting,’ she thought bitterly. And then it struck her. She was actually feeling guilt. Not that it was her first time, far from in. What surprised her was not the feeling itself but her capability to have it. She had not thought about this before despite having lived with guilt for many years. The thing was: a bad person would not feel guilty over failing to save lives; which meant that she was not in fact bad. Her mind was now running wildly, going through her past, her crimes and punishments, decisions, relationships and everything in between. When Liara had said that Jane knew what to do the human was unsure if it was actually so. But no longer. Adopting a most determined expression, Shepard left her cabin and headed to the XO office.  
Dr. T’Soni was in the middle of a lengthy decryption task when a knock drew her attention. She had no time for this.  
“Glyph, who is it?” She asked annoyed.  
“Commander Shepard awaits your response outside. Do you want me to open the door or politely send her away, doctor?”  
The asari sighed. Right now she really did not want to be interrupted but she could not keep the commanding officer of the ship away. It could be a matter of import for the mission.  
“Let her in.”  
“Certainly, doctor.”  
The doors hissed open while the maiden paused the work on her terminals.  
“Commander. How can I be of service?”  
“Liara, I need to speak with you.” Shepard said quickly and stepped inside, letting the door close behind her.  
“What is it?” The asari was serious, prepared.  
“Ah, no. This is not about the mission, no. But it’s important. It’s about what you said to me when we had lunch together. I know you’re busy but you have to hear me out.”  
“Well, if it cannot wait, then go ahead. What is so important that you would come rushing to my office after a heavy run?”  
“I was just in the shower and the last mission got me thinking. And I realised a few things about myself. When you asked me if I would still be loyal to Socolow I gave you a disappointing answer. Back then I thought I was telling you the truth. But I was unaware of my own situation, of myself. I have been for such a long time.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“For years now I have been serving the Alliance, a greater cause. In my life I’ve done many things for the wrong reasons but some of them were the right things. Like joining the military. Yes, it was out of selfishness, to save my own hide. But it was right because as a soldier I protected people, saved lives. The point is that even when we’re forced into a corner we still have a choice, we always do. My becoming a marine was exactly that. Anderson gave me a choice nothing more. It might have seemed forced but it wasn’t. I could have declined and he would have left me to be executed without a second thought. And now I realise that we make choices our whole life and that this is what defines us. So, if I’m defined by my choices, then what kind of person does this make me? You were right. Ferdinand modelled me, decided who I was when I was with the Reds. But ever since joining the Alliance I’ve been my own person. And I have been choosing and doing the right things for a long time. Today I’m going to do it again because, as you said, I know how. And this time it is also for the right reasons. Ferdinand Socolow is part of my past and it is time I put him behind me. I have repaid all my debts to him long ago. I’ve gained so much in the last fifteen years, I have a real life, things and people I care about. For someone like me this is a true miracle. I can’t leave all this behind because of a ghost from my past. I won’t. Like I’ve been doing for years, now too I choose to be good.”  
Shepard finished her impromptu speech with a hopeful, eager, determined expression. Liara had listened quietly and now bit her lower lip looking haltingly at the commander. When she said nothing Jane spoke again, all nervous, erratic.  
“I-I know I lost your trust. I am telling the truth. But I won’t ask you to trust me. There is another way… You could meld with me, see for yourself, make certain I’m not lying. I know you probably don’t want to join with me given everything that’s happened between us recently. But it doesn’t have to be intimate, you could just… make it clinical, probe my mind and be done with it.”  
Even before Shepard was finished Liara was shaking her head vigorously.  
“No, no. I have no need to.” Her cheeks had streaks of wetness and her eyes were gleaming when she looked at the red-head. “I believe you.”  
“Y-you do?” Jane stared at her incredulously.  
“I was not fair to you. I got up on my moral high horse and demanded that you be ever exemplary, reject all of your flaws. But I had no right to do so. Especially when I was hardly an example for decency myself.”  
“No.”  
“Yes. I am not so good a person as you see me. I fell from grace in the years after your death, did many morally ambiguous things, ruthless even. But the moment you were revealed to not be ever righteous as I thought I blamed you, punished you for it. It was unfair but you bore it nonetheless. You did everything you could to meet my ridiculous expectations and felt unworthy when you failed. But the reality is that the clear moral code I held you to was not mine to begin with. It was yours and it was you who first taught me it. I was a young unexperienced maiden when I met you on Therum and you took me in and showed me what it meant to be a good person, how to be one. You do not have to change anything in yourself or make choices anew. You are already a good person long before I was and you simply have to continue being yourself. The fault was mine for losing sight of that. And I am sorry.”  
“No, no, you have nothing to be sorry about, Liara. You’re the best person I’ve ever known. And you have never been touched by such unspeakable depravities like I have. If anything it’s me who has to apologise again for everything.”  
“Stop. You were just a child when Ferdinand Socolow took you in and taught you what he wanted. He was a vile man and he abused you to no end. Only he is to blame for that. But you proved everyone wrong. Despite his influence you remained good at heart. Yes, you might have been loyal to the wrong man but loyalty in and off itself is a good thing. And, like you said, you have been loyal to the Alliance, to a great cause for many years. Most importantly you have been loyal to yourself and your code, otherwise you could not have taught Ashley, Garrus and myself the same things. I am eternally grateful that you are this remarkable person and that I have you in my life. And I am not going to let my short-sightedness ruin what we have.”  
“Does… Does this mean you actually forgive me?” Jane asked tentatively.  
“I already have. The question is can you forgive me for hurting you so much.” Liara had an honest, vulnerable expression on her face and Shepard could clearly see the innocence that had first attracted her to the maiden. The soldier still had the same big weakness for it and it was what made her heart blind for anyone else. Filled with emotion to the brim, Jane burst in laughter and grabbed the asari by the waist, lifting her and spinning her with joy. She then put her down and kissed her passionately. When they finally separated the couple touched foreheads and gazed at each other lovingly.  
“Thank you, Liara. You’re the light in my life. I’m a better person because of you, for you. And you’ve done nothing that needs to be forgiven.” Jane smiled gently. “I love you.”  
“I love you, too.”  
The asari returned her smile and they both closed their eyes, basking in each other’s embrace.


	7. The Past Is Here Now And There Is No Escape

The mission to save Rannoch was brutal to say the least. But Commander Shepard lived to tell the tale and secured peace between the Geth and the Quarians. Yet another feat thought to be impossible until the red-haired soldier proved it otherwise. The Normandy was now headed to the Citadel for a brief respite before continuing the fight. Shepard had promised Liara they would spend some time together and knowing what the maiden liked, proposed they take a walk around the Presidium gardens. The couple decided to have a late morning and then go out for their walk before having lunch at some nice place.  
“You ready?” Jane asked after having finished dressing up. She had dumped her favourite casual clothes in favour of well-tailored rim trousers and smart white button shirt, finishing the ensemble with leather oxford shoes. She knew her mate liked her most in the dapper handsome style and was always ready to oblige, being pretty fond of it herself.  
Liara was in her cabin again. She had more or less moved here after the two of them figured things out. And now the maiden exited the small bathroom. She looked gorgeous in her free falling dark trousers and beige satin ribbon blouse, with elegant high heels as the finishing touch. Shepard stared at her completely speechless, jaw hitting the floor.  
“Hah. I take it you like the outfit.” Liara smiled innocently and at the same time smugly. She then went to her lover. On the high heels she was more on par with the soldier, although Jane was very tall and still was about four inches above her. The asari smoothed her partner’s white shirt lovingly. “To be fair I like yours very much, too.”  
“Ugh-huh…”  
“Still nothing to say? Guess I overdid it. The way you are looking at me I doubt we will get to the Presidium. More likely we will end up out of these nice clothes and on the bed here just in a matter of minutes.” Liara said a bit sultry.  
“I think I won’t be able to resist the temptation much longer.” Jane finally found her voice, albeit a little hoarse.  
“Then let’s get moving. I still want my promised romantic stroll in the gardens. After that you can give in to any and all irresistible allurements.” The maiden smiled again and placed a peck on her bondmate’s cheek. Then took Jane’s hand and pulled her towards the exit.  
“I’ll hold you to that.”  
Sometime later just before the couple was about to enter the Presidium gardens Shepard stopped. Liara turned to her with a questioning expression.  
“Wait here. And don’t move. I’ll be right back.” Just like that the commander was gone in the crowd. The maiden did not even have a chance to utter a single word.  
But as she said Jane soon came back, her hands holding a beautifully arranged bouquet of red roses. Liara gasped with surprise and blushed lightly.  
“Is this for me?”  
“Anything and everything for you, my love.” Shepard handed her the flowers. “It’s completely insufficient to express the strength of my feelings for you. But I made a promise to myself back on the SR-1: that I would do this the proper way and be the gentle loving partner you, my gorgeous lady, deserve. That I would give you flowers as often as possible, make you beautiful and thoughtful presents, treat you like a queen and all the other things out of a fairy-tale. But most importantly, that I would be there for you always. I know I have failed on many occasions already but I’m not giving up. To do so would be to fail you once more and I’m going to do everything in my power to not let that happen.”  
Liara accepted the bouquet graciously.  
“You have ever been the best lover. Any mistakes you insist on owning are made because you are so thoughtful for me. And I feel very privileged because of this. Not to mention how much more I love you for it. I can only try to be worthy.”  
“No trying needed. Come on, let’s get inside.”  
The couple entered the gardens. The place was so full of nature it was instantly calming.  
“This might sound strange but why don’t you smell the flowers you’re holding? Just an idea…” Shepard said absentmindedly, hands clasped behind her back, gaze wandering in the distance.  
The maiden raised the bouquet a bit and inhaled cautiously.  
“Goddess! They smell wonderful! How did I not sense it until now?”  
“The aroma of a flower should be picked so that it suits the receiver. You’re the most delicate being I know, so I chose a delicate aroma that wouldn’t be too strong on the nose.” Jane turned to her lover with a gentle smile. “These are called roses. The red rose is the flower of love, passion and romance. It is given to express a most intimate feeling of love and a strong fiery passion. Usually, it’s a way to woo one’s love interest not very subtly but with an appropriate manner. An age old gesture in the game of courtship. However, the red rose symbolises more on a deeper level. This is a flower of joint opposites. The petals are so delicate and proudly beautiful but the stem is hard and covered with sharp thorns. If one is not careful while enjoying the flower, they could prick their fingers. A red rose with a drop of blood shows the dangers of love – no relationship, however strong, is without its hardships. But it also shows that from the hardest things a special kind of beauty is born.”  
“Oh, Jane… this is… I have no words.”  
Liara’s voice trembled a little and a single tear rolled over her cheek. She smiled and gestured to wipe it but Shepard’s palm was already cupping her face and stroking gently at the wet spot.  
“Who taught you all this?”  
The commander lowered her head and turned away.  
“You won’t like the answer…”  
“Please, tell me.” Liara touched her arm tenderly and Jane looked at her halfway.  
“It was Socolow. I know it sounds ridiculous but remember what I told you: he taught me not only how to survive but also how to live. One red rose could mean a thousand different things and yet hold the clearest message. His words… right before he ordered the death of a wealthy businessman’s wife. That night she received a single red rose with nothing more. On the morning she was no longer drawing breath. She knew what the flower meant without a doubt: red like fresh blood, a harbinger of death.”  
“Shepard, listen to me. Remembering your past and Ferdinand Socolow does not undermine the choice you have made to be good now. On the contrary, your experience with him, from him is something with no small value. You are a better person because of it, because you have seen the face of wrongness and know how to avoid it, to strife for good. And I see now: he gave you many black things but some of them held diamonds hidden in the grime. Diamonds you have found for yourself, like the knowledge of the red rose.”  
The red-head smiled sheepishly at her lover and the two continued their stroll. A couple of hours later they reached the end.  
“I think it is time we go for a light lunch.” Liara said.  
“If you want to leave this green paradise, I know just the right place. It’s not so far from here. Come.” Jane took her hand and led her out of the park and through the streets.  
A few turns and they were walking through a small alleyway. It was deserted even if not too dark and dirty.  
“Are you sure this is the right way?” Liara asked and snuggled closer to her lover.  
“Yeah, just another block and we’re there. It’s not the best location but the food tastes great and the atmosphere is just what we need.”  
The maiden nodded.  
“Step away from the asari and slowly raise your hands in the air.” A hard male voice echoed and two dozen armed and armoured commandos blocked the two ends of the alley. Their rifles were trained on the couple caught in the middle. Liara’s blood froze.  
“Who are you? What do you want?” She demanded harshly.  
“As of today Jane Shepard’s death sentence is no longer suspended. She is to be immediately detained and sent to an Alliance facility for the execution order to be carried out.”  
“What?! Why? Anderson couldn’t have given the order now. It’d be absurd!” The red-head said unbelieving.  
“This is your last warning: step away from the asari and slowly raise your hands in the air. Or we will use authorised deadly force.”  
Shepard gulped but then carefully began removing her hand from her lover’s waist.  
“Jane, what is going on? What are you doing? There must be a mistake!” The maiden held her bondmate tightly and would not let go. But the soldier was set on extricating herself from the hold.  
“Liara, listen to me. This Alliance squad was created fourteen years ago with a single mission in mind: to apprehend me in the fastest, surest, most efficient way possible, regardless of any circumstances. They have studied me for years and are specifically trained to combat my particular arsenal, render me harmless and secure me at all costs. Any resistance on my part is going to be met with overwhelming force and they have the right to kill me. You have to let me go or you will be in their way. And they won’t hesitate to take you too. Please, I have to surrender.” The words were more than urgent.  
“No…” Liara was crying now but Jane’s expression was desperately pleading and the human was gently but firmly shoving her away.  
The safety of a weapon clicked and the maiden froze. This nightmare was really happening. And she was powerless to stop it. But there was no need to make it any worse than it already was. So, she nodded slightly and stepped several feet away. Shepard tried to smile reassuringly at her but it could not have been more futile. Then she slowly faced the commandos and brought her hands to the back of her head.  
“On the ground! Now!” A man shouted strongly.  
Jane lowered herself on her knees and the squad closed in on her, still aiming their rifles at her. Then, like one, four heavy troopers jumped her and worked quickly to subdue her. No gentleness was involved, only efficiency. They forced the red-head prone on the hard ground and held her immobile; a hand pinning her head down, the weight of a heavily armoured body on each of her legs and back. Her hands were pulled behind her back and locked in a pair of reinforced heavy-duty handcuffs. A similar device with a short chain was used to bind her ankles and limit her ability to walk. Then the commandos pulled her body up, keeping her on her knees. One of them held her firmly by the hair, presenting her face, while the others helped him to keep her rigid. They would only tighten their grip at her slightest movement. The squad leader produced a high-tech sensory-deprivation mask and adjusted it against Shepard’s face. The device fitted perfectly and with a few mechanised clicks and hisses locked around its prisoner’s face and ears. Thusly restrained the red-head was then grabbed and lifted by the commandos. She did not resist in any way. Unable to move much, to hear or see anything, she just hanged in their arms unaware of what was happening around her.  
“Where are you taking her?” Liara asked with a hard voice before the marines began walking. Until now she was unable to intervene and had stood and watched her lover being strapped down like an animal. But she was not about to stay idly by and let Jane be taken away and left alone.  
“Step aside, miss. This is an Alliance operation and you cannot interfere.” The closest marine told her evenly.  
“Hold it! You cannot arrest someone without informing them of their rights!” The maiden stopped them.  
“Ma’am, this is a special case. The prisoner is well aware of her situation. And everything we are doing is authorised on the highest level by Alliance command. If you continue to interfere with this arrest, we will be forced to take action in order to secure the safe acquirement of the target.”  
Liara was boiling with anger and fear inside but she knew that these feelings were not going to help her now. So, she remained stone-faced on the outside and used the only thing that would work against the commandos.  
“Under the Galactic Law I demand that you identify yourself and the body under whose jurisdiction you are authorised to act.”  
It did the trick. The squad leader came closer to her, took off his helmet and showed her his ID documentation.  
“Lieutenant Harry Olson, Commanding officer of the Specialised Criminal Detention unit under the direct supervision of the Alliance Committee.”  
“By Galactic Law I have the right to join your escort as a civilian attestor to ensure that all procedures are correctly followed and the detainee’s rights are not violated.”  
Olson did not show any reaction to her statement. Instead, he simply complied with her demand, following the law.  
“Very well. This way, please.” He turned to his squad. “Move out!”  
The marines took formation around the prisoner and the ones holding Shepard pressed her head down as they began dragging her in the direction of their transport. With a sure determined gait Liara walked beside them not letting her lover out of sight for a single moment.  
When they reached the air craft Jane was swiftly heaved inside and once the last person was in the engines started. Liara was seated in the corner where she would not hinder the operation but have a clear view of every happening. Lieutenant Olson turned to her and put a data pad in her hands.  
“This mission’s parameters are specialised. As a civilian attestor you have to familiarise yourself with the procedural protocol. Inside you will find the detainee’s current rights and a full list of the mandatory, authorised and prohibited actions for the SCD.”  
Liara barely had a moment to glance at the document before the SCD began preparing their prisoner for transport. The first thing they did was to inject what seemed like a kind of relaxant in Jane’s bicep. Then they moved an upright slab on a trolley closer. It was designed to keep a person strictly restrained and immobile while allowing them to be easily moved. Shepard was put on it, her back pressed against the slab. Her wrists and ankles were freed from the cuffs but only for a split second. Special reinforced straps took their place and bound her limbs – with her arms at the sides of her torso this time. More straps went under her knees, over the middle of her thighs, her stomach, chest, upper arms and forehead. In the end she was completely bound on the upright slab and was positioned to face the hatch. On each side of her were standing two commandos with rifles at the ready. Liara’s heart was bleeding at the sight of her lover being treated like that. But if she wanted to help Jane, she had to keep her cool. Right now the best that could be done was to gather as much information about the case as possible. So the maiden secretly used the moment while the SCD was securing Shepard to send a short message about the situation to Ashley and Garrus. After which she had to settle for the ride. No more than a minute later Jane began to struggle against her restraints.  
“Lieutenant Olson, sir. The readings show elevated heart rate and it’s climbing steadily.” One of the marines said while looking at a monitor on the wall.  
“Cause?” The officer asked seriously.  
“Unknown. No physical factors present. The prisoner is starting to hyperventilate. She is ex-hibiting all symptoms of severe distress.”  
The monitoring machines were not lying. Shepard was fighting as much as her bindings al-lowed, however little that was. The spots where her skin was uncovered shone with perspiration and her chest was heaving rapidly.  
“Prepare a sedative.” Olson ordered.  
“What?!” Liara raised her voice sharply.  
“In case of prisoner unrest or physical discomfort we are authorised to use sedation for the detainee’s care.”  
“Are you serious?! She doesn’t need to be sedated! You idiots are triggering her PTSD! She needs to know where she is, what is happening around her. If you want to calm the ‘prisoner’ you have to let her see and hear.” The asari seethed with anger and disgust. How could any-one be so senseless? How could they treat a sentient being this way?  
“The restraint system cannot be changed, ma’am. The protocol-”  
“Your precious protocol says you have to keep her calm. The easiest most efficient way to do this is to remove the mask. You have already thrust her up like a pig for slaughter. She won’t escape if you take off just that one piece. Not to mention she surrendered willingly and has not given any resistance. Why would she start now?”  
The lieutenant held her gaze for a second, keeping his stone expression. Then, without a word, he simply gestured towards Jane’s head and disabled the locking mechanism. The mask clicked and hissed open and he took it off her. Underneath Jane was revealed to be panting heavily with a panicked expression. Her eyes were dilated and wild. It was clear she was having an episode. And Liara knew exactly what the content was. She shot Olson a deadly glare before approaching her distressed lover.  
“Jane. Jane, look at me.” She touched her cheek gently. “Listen to my voice. You are alive. You are not dying. Do you hear me?”  
The commander barely managed to fix the person in front of her, her vision blurry like hell.  
“Liara…?” She rasped through her panting.  
“Yes, I’m here with you. We’re safe. No one’s dying. Okay?”  
Shepard nodded trembling under the strap on her forehead and spoke weakly.  
“Not dying. Still alive.”  
“That’s right. You’re alive. Try to take deep breaths, feel the air course inside you. It’s not running out.”  
Jane squeezed her eyes closed and bared her teeth in a grimace but she followed the asari’s instructions.  
“Give me some water.” Liara reached a hand toward one of the commandos but he hesitated. “Really?! Just give it to me. She’s not going to kill you with a deadly spit.”  
The man passed her a canteen and she immediately filled her palm with water then splashed it over Shepard’s face carefully. She repeated the process once more gently washing the red-head’s cheeks. The cool liquid served to pull Jane from the haze.  
“Here. Drink.” The maiden then pressed the canteen to her lover’s lips and held it for her while the woman gulped greedily. With every PTSD attack came quick dehydration and the water really rejuvenated the commander. When she was done drinking, her breathing had calmed a bit and she rested her head back with closed eyes. In a few moments she seemed to be over the attack and looked at Liara.  
“Where are we? Wha-” Jane tried to raise her hand and suddenly felt the straps holding her in place. She visibly tensed.  
“We’re in an Alliance shuttle transport. You were …apprehended. Remember?” The asari flashed a cold glare at Olson then looked back at the red-head.  
“Right.” Jane sagged against the slab and grinned bitterly with closed eyes. “We were having the best romantic walk and the bastards just had to show up and tell me I’m about to be executed. Such an icebreaker. I have a bit of a disorienting experience after that though. What exactly happened?”  
“The commandos put a sensory-deprivation mask on you.” Liara supplied disgruntled.  
“Ooooh… fancy toy. Pretty severe. Couldn’t expect any less in my case. Though it proves you don’t know me quite so thoroughly as you think. Eh, lieutenant?” Shepard looked smugly at the two bars officer. He and his comrades grabbed their rifles closer and stared at her emotionlessly. “Hah, you really are spooked. Sensory-dep, reinforced restraints…” She paused and flexed her fingers. A light whistle escaped her and she seemed impressed. “Even a mid-grade muscle relaxant. You’re good, prepared. Good but still spooked. Ha-ha.” The laugh was short and actually filled with a bit of mirth.  
Jane then returned her gaze to Liara.  
“I’m pretty sure asari scientists weren’t supposed to join this particular escort. So, what did I miss? How did you manage to catch the ride?”  
“Asari scientists – certainly not. But a civilian attestor under Galactic Law…”  
“That’s another thing entirely. Smart as always, my love.”  
“I couldn’t leave you alone in their claws. And thank the Goddess for that, because clearly my presence is sorely needed. Judging by the attack those senseless idiots made you go through. So, I’m here to make sure they show some humanity. Or at least not kill you out of stupidity or fear.” The last bit Liara mumbled under her nose angrily.  
“Thank you.” Shepard smiled at her mate with appreciation but then became wistful. “But they are going to kill me soon anyway.”  
“Not if I have anything to say about it.” The asari said firmly.  
“Liara…”  
“No. There must be a mistake. You said it yourself. Admiral Anderson would not have issued the order to execute you in the middle of the war. He relies on you to get help for Earth, he put you in charge of that mission. Considering the galactic state and your pivotal role, it would be madness to pull you out of the war now. Something’s wrong, I am sure of it. And we will get to the bottom of it before it’s too late, I promise.”  
It did not go unnoticed by Jane that the maiden said ‘we’. Liara was already working to solve the problem obviously. The commander looked at her lover with understanding but did not say anything else about it. If the asari was right, and she had to admit the chances of that were very high, stopping the Alliance from executing her under false pretences was on top of her priority list. So, Shepard had no intention of jeopardising the best and only effort to expose the very likely scheme against her.  
“Okay. Let’s hope you’re right.”


	8. Last Wish

When the shuttle reached the Alliance grounds on the Citadel Shepard was rolled in for processing. She had to stay incarcerated for several days before the sentence was carried out due to administrative procedures. As a civilian attestor Liara was allowed to oversee the whole process from a close distance. Jane was moved to a super-max detention cell in the heart of the Alliance facility. Liara inspected the Spartan accommodations then watched as her mate was locked inside. With that the maiden’s role as an attestor was finished and she was asked to leave the single-cell block and return to the welcome foyer of the Alliance representative building. The prisoner was to be kept in isolation for safety purposes and Liara could no longer be with her. The asari settled in one of the office-like couches in the lobby and glanced at her omni-tool. Nervous beyond comprehension, afraid and still angry she was monitoring all entrances to the building. In a few minutes she was pacing in a short line in front of the empty couch, clearly waiting for something. The guards and receptionists looked at her strangely but did not do anything for now. Her behaviour was becoming suspicious but before the Alliance personnel took action about it her wait ended. While on the transport Liara had managed to message Ashley and Garrus several times, explaining in detail what was going on and where was Shepard taken. Now the lobby doors opened and Williams and Vakarian entered with a hastened step. The maiden met them halfway and the three moved to the side to talk.  
“Liara, are you alright?” Garrus asked worriedly.  
“No. We have three days to get to the bottom of this and stop the Alliance from executing Shepard!” The asari answered so franticly she barely kept her voice from shouting. “We don’t have time for pleasantries!”  
“Try to stay calm. Losing it won’t help either.” Ashley said and placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Okay. So, where do we start? We only just found out about Shepard’s past and sentence. We barely know the basics, let alone any details that might be of help now.”  
“I have something.” The maiden had composed herself enough and spoke determined. “While you were coming I tried to find out more about who gave the order to cease the suspension. It’s almost impossible that Admiral Anderson did it. If not him, then who else? The SCD is under the direct supervision of the Alliance Committee. So the Committee members must be the only other people who can issue the order. I dug up and found a name: Vice Admiral Rick Bronston. His connection to Shepard is non-existent beyond his knowledge of her case. But his personnel file says that he was involved in a top-secret Alliance operation years ago. A black ops programme that went rouge.”  
“Cerberus.” Both Ashley and Garrus said unsurprised.  
“Yes. Bronston is the only Committee member who knew about the operation and took part in it. And at the time his second-in-command was none other than Kai Leng. The two of them also had a close relationship outside the military – Leng is his best friends’ son.”  
“So, Bronston has a possible connection to Cerberus. But was it him who gave the order?” The turian asked.  
“There’s no solid proof of that.” Liara grimaced.  
“What about the other members?” Williams spoke.  
“I went through their dossiers thoroughly. None of them are strong suspects. In fact, most of them are absolutely clean. The only other possible suspect is Rear Admiral Lagos Alvarado. He has expressed his disapproval of Shepard several times over the years, stating that a dangerous criminal given so much freedom in the Alliance is not only a huge risk but also a stupid one. Alvarado has stood against her admission into the N7 programme as well as the Spectres.”  
“Then it could be him. He clearly is deeply involved and interested in Shepard’s arrangement with the Alliance. Why do you think we should rule him out?” Garrus knit his brow plates.  
“Alvarado is strictly by-the-book and has always adhered to Alliance regulations. His formal protests were taken under consideration on every account but were deemed insufficient to tip the final decision in another direction. Having exhausted all possible means to counteract under Alliance protocol he accepted the decision every time and stopped his protests. He has not taken any other action to undermine Shepard in any way and has been nothing but professional when it comes to her case.”  
“Besides, why would he give the order now? It’s the same as with Anderson.” Ashley said thinking out loud. “On the other hand Cerberus would benefit immensely if the Skipper was taken out of the picture exactly in this moment. Alvarado may be having a serious motive but if Bronston is working for Cerberus that makes him a much more likely suspect given the galactic state and Shepard’s role in it.”  
“True. But I still think we should look into Alvarado, too.” Garrus said. He was C-Sec after all. He knew they had to be thorough if they wanted to solve the case.  
“We might not have enough time to investigate both of them. Jane has already been sentenced. We don’t have the luxury of a big trial getting bogged down and delayed.” Liara was getting restless again.  
“We could split up. One of us will go after Alvarado and the others after Bronston.” The turian kept insisting.  
“First we have to figure out how we are going to investigate either of them. They are high-ranking officers of the Alliance. Very few people, namely the Alliance Military Police head commissioner and his immediate office, are authorised to look into them and then only with solid reasoning behind it. Not to mention the Military Police probably doesn’t even know about Shepard’s case – it’s top-secret, non-existent. If we go to the commissioner, we won’t be able to even say what charges should be put against the admirals.” The brunette explained.  
“Wait. Won’t that actually help us? An Alliance soldier is sentenced to death without any clear reason. The Military Police should be set to investigate.” Garrus said.  
“The commander will be long dead until they manage to even dig out her case from top-secret.” Williams replied.  
“But Ashley, why would the Alliance Police not be knowledgeable of Shepard’s case? Were they not the ones who judged her back when she was first caught?” Liara was a bit confused.  
“You’re right. I forgot about that. But if they know, the investigation should already be underway or they are complacent.”  
“There would be an investigation if there isn’t a reason for the suspension cancelling order. What if there is? And we just don’t know about it?” Garrus spoke carefully.  
“No.” Liara was adamant. “Jane is not retiring. And she has not committed any violations since returning to the Alliance.”  
“Yeah. They didn’t execute her after the Cerberus fiasco. I doubt they would do it because of a minor supposed infraction now.” Williams agreed.  
“Enough. I trust Shepard and I know you two do as well. She has done nothing to break the rules of her deal.” The maiden said sternly. “We are circling around too many ‘ifs’ and we don’t have time for this. Let’s focus on what we can be sure about and devise a plan of action.”  
“Okay, we know for certain that there’s no provocation for the suspension cancelling order and that someone is acting on false pretences if any at all. We have two suspects, one stronger than the other. Outside of the immediately involved Alliance personnel, the three of us are the only ones who know that the Skipper is convicted. Unfortunately, we are just two non-Alliance people and one freshly minted low-ranking senior officer. We won’t be able to investigate on our own.” Ashley listed diligently.  
“You are a spectre. That might be all we need. You can just start an investigation on your own without even telling anybody. And you have almost unlimited authority to act and circumvent any red tape. And Liara is the Shadow Broker.” The turian pointed out in hushed whisper.  
“Garrus is right. You can easily find out who gave the order. In the meantime, I will dig up any piece of information about Bronston and Alvarado and their recent activities. Then we can focus on exposing whoever did this.”  
“So, we have a plan. What about the Military Police, though?” Ashley asked.  
“I think we can solve this faster without them. They’re a wild card for now and we can’t risk losing time on them.” Garrus said.  
“Then it’s settled. And what will you do?” The maiden turned to him.  
“I will stay here and monitor the situation. Try to find a way to see Shepard. Given the cir-cumstances it would be wise to not leave her alone.”  
“Thank you, Garrus.” The asari smiled a bit at him.  
After that they each went to their tasks.

When Vakarian finally managed to gain access to Commander Shepard, it was hours later. As he walked past all the security, check points, surveillance, he thought it looked more like he was entering a containment block for an extremely dangerous and unknown biological form and not a criminal cell block. The whole thing was overdone by far. Whatever Shepard was capable of she was still just a human. And the arrangements of her incarceration seemed to account as if she could shoot actual laser beams from her eyes. Yet another secure door pounded its solid metal bars free from the holes in the wall and hissed open. Unexpectedly it was the final one. The turian entered a reasonably sized room. Half of it was completely empty while the other half was separated with an unbreakable glass fusion and formed a containment cell. Inside it the light was bright white and there was nothing but a simple cot, sink and toilet. Beside the glass Shepard was sitting on the floor with her back leaning on the wall and her arms resting on her bent knees. When she heard the release for the outer door she turned to see who was coming in. She certainly did not expect her best friend walking in alone, the door sealing behind him. She stood up and faced him through the glass.  
“Garrus! How did you get here?” She asked surprised.  
“What? Not happy to see a friendly face? I’m wounded, Shepard.” The turian teased.  
“Hah. Don’t get me wrong. You’re a sight for sore eyes. But with everything…” She made an all-encompassing gesture with her arms.  
Garrus noticed she was dressed in a green jumpsuit which had sewn reinforced loops on several spots at the sides of her arms and shoulders as well as the length of her legs. The sleeves and legs of the suit ended with inbuilt wrist and ankle cuffs and a restraining belt was fitted around the waist. Right now all of these ‘accessories’ were left unfastened and the red-head had free movement. But it was clear that the jumpsuit was specifically made to allow for easy and quick restraint of the prisoner.  
“It sure wasn’t easy to get inside. But I used some of Liara’s tricks and a few of my own, from my time with C-Sec. Nothing illegal, don’t worry. I was surprised it work, seeing as how they literary buried you under the heaviest secure system I’ve ever seen. And trust me, I’ve seen quite a few examples of super-max detention.”  
Jane caught her friend checking out the jumpsuit. She let out a small laugh and glanced down at herself. Raising her palms slightly, she left them fall with a clap against her thighs and looked back at the turian.  
“Yeah, well… It’s okay now. It was worse when they took me. I don’t care… But Liara had to see it. She thinks I was the one who got forced and violated but the truth is she was. Sure, not physically but I saw the whole ordeal hurt her deeply.” Jane went to the cot and sat down, leaning forward and propping herself on her knees.  
“Liara knew how things were. And she’s strong-”  
“You don’t understand, Garrus. Yes, the three of you found out the truth. But it’s one thing to know and entirely another to be faced with the harsh reality of it. My life has no value; the Alliance treats me as if I was already dead, with no regard for my rights. I’m already sentenced to death, technically I have no rights. They have permission to kill me at any moment if need be. And I think this made Liara more afraid than ever before. Not to mention that I’m considered an extreme threat, thus the appropriate measures you see here. I’m the worst of the worst, the most vicious, revolting and heartless being to have ever walked the face of the earth. The Alliance thinks I’m incapable of stopping myself from doing harm. They’re frightened of me like I’m evil incarnate. All this hurts Liara, seeing this side of me. She’s brave and tries not to show it but I saw through her.”  
“Of course it hurts her. But as I said, she’s strong, stronger than this. Right now she and Ashley are working to fix this mess. You won’t be executed, she’s too headstrong to let that happen. I’ve never seen her so determined and focused. When this is over the Alliance will know that you’re not the monster they think you are.”  
“Liara thinks I’ve changed for good during my time with the military. And I just started believing her. But this is a nasty reminder that I cannot erase what I’ve done in the past. Even if I’m a better person now, I still have to pay for my crimes. It might not happen today or in three days’ time or for years to come. But eventually I will have to face justice.”  
Vakarian sighed lightly.  
“I was a vigilante, a radical for true justice. But even I think you’ve earned absolution. So… don’t stop believing Liara. Just don’t.”  
Shepard smiled at him sadly but then nodded.  
“Okay.”

On the next day Garrus, Ashley and Liara met again.  
“How is Shepard?” The asari immediately asked.  
“She’s fine, all things considered. They keep her locked in her cell but nothing more. The worst she’s facing now is boredom. Though I’m surprised how lightly she’s taking the fact the Alliance is about to execute her.” The turian explained.  
“Well, she has had to live with a pending death sentence for years. Knowing for so long she could be executed at any moment probably means she’s quite used to the thought by now.” Ashley said.  
“I guess. Though she would’ve been just peachy if only she was affected by the situation. But she’s not. She worries about you, Liara. Thinks you’re the real victim here.”  
“Of course. It doesn’t matter what happens to her as long as everybody else is protected. And they want to execute her, the most selfless person in this galaxy.” Liara was bitter.  
Garrus squeezed her shoulder in support.  
“What did you two manage to find?”  
“I went to the SCD department and tried to find out who gave the order. Unfortunately, everybody there is literary ready to die before revealing that information. I’m not sure if someone has their leash as part of the conspiracy or if that’s just how they were trained. But I’m more inclined to believe the latter. You can buy or threaten a few people… but the whole department? I know it’s small but still… Anyway, I decided to try my luck with Bronston. He said it wasn’t him. Though it took me half an hour to get him to do it. He tried to shift the conversation and strongly demanded I tell him how I know about Shepard’s case in the first place. All the while deflecting every question about Cerberus. I don’t trust him, his behaviour seemed suspicious and I think in the end he said it wasn’t him just to get me off his back.”  
“Well, he remains a suspect at least. I hoped you being a spectre would prove more advanta-geous.” Vakarian shook his head.  
“Yeah, me too. But it seems everyone involved with the Skipper’s case takes their duty above and beyond.”  
“Obviously they’re set on following it through to the end. But they don’t know the forces arrayed against them.” The maiden said pungently. “I managed to find out what is the official reason for the suspension cancelling order listed in the files. It says that a relative of the Loris family sued the Alliance for delaying the execution of Shepard’s verdict and won less than two weeks ago. The court decreed that the suspension was to be terminated immediately and the sentence carried out. Following the judiciary’s precept, the Alliance Committee dispatched the SCD in short notice.”  
“A relative…?” Garrus asked pensively.  
“Yes. Phil Mitchells. I looked into the Loris family. They had no close relatives – no siblings, no cousins, their parents and an aunt and uncle had all died before the family was murdered. But in the law suit against the Alliance Mr. Mitchells claimed he was a stepbrother to Derek Loris’ wife, Christina. Now, Mrs. Loris was an only child. Things clearly don’t add up, so I figured someone has to be lying.”  
“But…?” Ashley prompted.  
“It turns out Christina’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Wolgan, couldn’t conceive a child for years. They thought one of them was infertile. Already getting somewhat old for parentage by human standards, the couple decided to adopt. They took in a two months old infant. One year later Christina was born and her parents retuned the adopted child to the institution. The family had no more contact with the baby after that. But there’s a missing link. There is no record of who the adopted infant was. No name, no sex, no history… It’s like a child never passed into Christina’s parents’ hands. When I checked Mitchells’ own file it did say he was adopted but the foster parents’ names were left blank. It’s too big a coincidence. There’s no proof but it seems he’s telling the truth.” Liara had to fight to hide her growing desperation.  
“Okay, let’s think. Say Phil Mitchells actually is the adopted child. He was only months old when the adoption happened and was returned quickly after. He shouldn’t be able to remember anything about the Wolgans.” Garrus spoke.  
“Someone could’ve told him about it.” Ashley supplied.  
“If I was told that a family adopted me as a baby and then dumped me back into the orphanage before I could remember, I won’t have any love for them. Either way Mitchells has no real reason to seek justice for a killed stepsister he has never seen and probably doesn’t even know exists.”  
“You’re right. Something’s fishy here.” Williams said with knit brows.  
“I could try to find adopted people of the right age whose adoption papers contain the name Wolgan. It might eliminate the possibility of Mitchells telling the truth. But it will take time, the search pool is too large.” Said the asari.  
“We have to find out more about Mitchells and his law suit against the Alliance. It’s our best lead.” The turian concluded. “I have an idea how to investigate Mitchells but I’ll need your Broker network, Liara. In the meantime, Ashley could look into the law suit.”  
“Then let’s not waste any more time.” The brunette spoke firmly and the conversation ended.

A day and a half later Liara was in the detention block of the Alliance facility. She was pacing anxiously in front of the first check point beyond which she was not allowed. Less than half a dozen hours remained until Shepard’s execution and the maiden and her accomplices had yet to find anything solid to stop it from happening. The commander was almost out of time and they were left with only scraps to follow. Liara’s omni-tool beeped and she immediately accepted the call.  
“Tell me something came up, Garrus.”  
“Unfortunately, no. I checked everything but the lead went dry long ago.”  
The asari clamped a hand over her mouth and squeezed her eyes.  
“Hey, hey. Don’t do this. There’s still hope. Ashley had a good lead last night.”  
Liara took in a deep shaking breath and nodded slightly.  
“Has she been in contact?” The turian asked.  
“No, nothing. I’m starting to worry about her.”  
“I trust her. She will do everything in her power to not let Shepard down again.”  
While they talked an Alliance woman approached the maiden.  
“Dr. T’Soni.”  
“Yes.” She left the call open. Garrus had to know what was happening. Besides she was no longer sure she could take whatever the woman had to tell her alone.  
“Tradition and Alliance protocol state that prisoners on death row have the right to a last wish before their sentence is carried out. The time has come and Jane Shepard has placed her request. You are her last wish.”  
Liara’s eyes watered and tears began falling unbidden over her cheeks. She looked back to Garrus on her omni-tool.  
“Go. See her. I’m coming and will be there when you finish.” He tried to send her all the support he could give.  
She brushed her sleeve over her face and nodded once then ended the call.  
It took an eternity for Liara and her escort to get through all of the security measures and check points. Finally, the last door opened and they entered the room in which Shepard’s cell was. The maiden instantly caught the green of the jumpsuit to her left and fixed her bondmate in her sights.  
“Liara.” Shepard stood from her cot and went by the glass separating them.  
The guards escorting the asari took positions around the cell door and pointed their rifles at it.  
“Move away from the glass and drop on your knees. Hold your hands in the air.” One of them commanded with a strict tone.  
The red-head followed the instructions slowly and waited. The door hissed open and Liara stepped inside alone. As soon as she was in, the cell was sealed behind her. While the commandos on the other side exited the room Shepard rose to her feet. The moment they had privacy Liara threw herself in her lover’s embrace.  
“Jane!” She clung to her like onto dear life itself.  
The human took her in her arms tightly and sighed feeling whole once more. In a minute or so the maiden pulled a bit and cupped Shepard’s face in her palms. She then kissed her desperately, her tears spilling between them. When they ended the kiss in need of air the maiden’s fingers tremblingly pushed the red fringe away from her beloved’s face. They gazed at each other silently. Jane raised a hand and caressed Liara’s cheek, gently brushing the wet drops falling from her eyes.  
“Please, forgive me.” The commander uttered quietly. And the asari knew exactly what she asked forgiveness for. It was for everything, the horrible crimes, the hurt she had caused but most of all because she was leaving Liara alone.  
“It’s not over yet. I refuse to let this happen.” The maiden furiously shook her head.  
Jane took her hand in her own and pulled her to the cot.  
“Come here.”  
She laid on her back and let the asari snuggle at her side. Liara rested her head under her lover’s chin and her arm over the human’s chest, clinging to her. Shepard enveloped the smaller woman in her sure embrace and held her close.  
“Do you remember that one night back on the first Normandy? We had just defeated Saren. It was late evening and we were alone in my cabin. After a few light drinks you asked me to dance with you. I was still wearing a brace over my arm but you insisted. I agreed but on the condition we dance the only thing I can. You had never heard of waltz until then so I walked you through the steps. The music was soft… like that song you play on the piano. As we swayed gently across the floor you were filled with bliss. Seeing you like that, my heart was forever decided. I was yours no matter what. You had captivated me ever since I found you on Therum. But after that night on the SR-1 I could no longer live without you. In your absence I can never fill my lungs fully, as if you hold my breath and only you can give it to me. I can never feel as deeply, I’m always somewhat numb when you’re not with me. You’re my everything, Liara. I love you.”  
The maiden continued to cry quietly gripping her lover tightly.  
“Shh. It’s okay…” Shepard placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, never letting go of her.  
In a few minutes the asari seemed to be calmer. Without looking at her bondmate she asked softly.  
“How will it happen?”  
Jane took a long breath and released it slowly.  
“It’s not painful. I won’t even feel it. First, I will be put to sleep. Then they will introduce a strong paralytic in my system which will slow my breathing gradually until it ceases. Finally, they will inject me with a solution that will stop my heart. The whole procedure shouldn’t take more than ten-fifteen minutes.”  
Liara remained silent, staring at the wall. More minutes passed as they just laid on the cot, holding each other close. At some point the asari quietly spoke.  
“I love you, too.”  
They kissed tenderly. All words seemed useless now. Even Liara’s anger and fear were forgotten for a little bit. Sadness took the place of everything.  
No matter how much time the two were given it would always seem far from enough. The guards came back and the lovers were separated again, perhaps for the last time. When Liara returned to the lobby Vakarian was waiting for her there. He saw her red-rimmed eyes and puffy cheeks. Without a word he took her in a big hug and held her while she cried.


	9. Death Is Meaningless

The hour of the execution arrived. Liara and Garrus were led to a room with a window on the other side of which was a medical chamber with a slightly upright execution slab and the necessary equipment on a metal table to the side. The asari and the turian were soon joined by the members of the Alliance Committee. Both Bronston and Alvarado present. Oddly, Mr. Mitchells was absent. A personnel woman drew their attention.  
“Friday, March 15th, 2187. Execution procedure of convict №:4712-05, Shepard, Jane. Subject has received a death penalty for five accounts of first-degree murder with extreme cruelty. The verdict is to be carried out by causing immediate death through the administration of lethal injection.”  
Just then the door of the medical chamber opened and in came a medic followed by two commandos holding between them Shepard. She was still wearing the green jumpsuit, only this time her hands were restrained to the waist belt and her ankles were hobbled by a short connection between the leg cuffs. The escort released her bindings and unsealed the top of the jumpsuit. Disrobing it Jane was left with only a simple medical T-shirt underneath. Without any resistance she left herself be led to the execution slab. The guards meticulously strapped her on it with reinforced leather restraints across her chest, abdomen, lower thighs and ankles. Her arms were placed on adjustable armrests outstretched halfway from her torso. Then each of her wrists and upper arms were strapped down. The medic attached small electrodes on Jane’s chest to monitor her organ activity via the apparatus to the side. Then he rubbed the inside of her left elbow with a spirit-soaked tampon and inserted an IV in her vein securing it with a piece of plaster. Shepard simply laid there and watched the one-way mirror ahead with an expressionless face. She could not see on the other side but she knew Liara was there.  
In the meantime, the personnel woman was explaining to the people in the observation room.  
“The procedure of administrating a lethal injection is as follows to ensure the humane treatment of the convict. Three separate agents are introduced into the bloodstream in succession. First, 5 g of sodium thiopental is used to induce a state of unconsciousness. Second, 100 mg of pancuronium bromide is injected to cause skeletal and muscle paralysis leading to respiratory arrest. Third, 100 mEq of potassium chloride is injected to cause death by cardiac arrest. The administration of the agents will be done remotely by a random unknowing executant among three persons. In case of…”  
Liara was not listening. She watched her lover being prepared for the execution through teary eyes. Garrus was holding her by the shoulders in an attempt to support her. His gaze also aimed through the glass and deeply grim. The committee members beside them stood with stony expressions, all serious and professional. On the other side the guards and the medic were done and exited the chamber leaving Shepard alone.  
“Procedure start: 19:45.” The personnel woman announced.  
The observers watched as the first canister connected to the IV emptied and the liquid flowed inside the red-heads vein. Jane felt her awareness slowly dimming. Her gaze searched for her beloved one last time. Liara stared through the mirror ravaged by pain, fear and desperation. Then she saw Shepard’s eyes peering straight at her before they slowly closed and the human fell unconscious on the slab. The maiden clamped her palm over her mouth and a river of tears slid across her face while she was ragged by heavy sobs. With another hiss the second container flushed down the IV. In a matter of minute or two the recorder monitoring Jane’s respiratory and cardiac functions began slowing down its beep and the diagram peaks became shorter and sparser.  
Suddenly a ruckus was heard from outside the execution block and the spectators turned to see what was going on. With a loud slam the door of the observation room opened and like a hurricane in came Lieutenant-Commander Ashley Williams.  
“Stop! Stop the execution!” She shouted franticly.  
The personnel woman glanced at the committee members but then swiftly raised a hand to her comm unit.  
“Cease all action immediately.” She gave the order.  
Ashley bent and propped herself on her knees out of breath from sprinting. But then she saw the two empty canisters and her eyes bulged. Instantly she barked.  
“Give her the counteragents! Now!”  
The medic ran into the execution chamber accompanied by a nurse, and checked the monitor. Breathing had already stopped and heartrate was steadily climbing down.  
“5 mg of neostigmine. Quickly!” The doctor ordered the nurse. She passed him the doze and he injected it in Shepard’s jugular. Then he began to administer CPR. The nurse watched the monitor.  
“There’s no effect, doctor!” She said intensely.  
The medic glanced at the monitor. It was showing a flat line and sounding one continuous beep. The man’s eyes fixed on the table with the equipment. He reached out and grabbed the largest syringe. Finding the right spot, he rammed the huge needle in Jane’s chest without hesitation. Then time came to a halt. In the other room Liara had stopped breathing as well and stood like a statue while her wide eyes watched through the glass. After what seemed an eternity Shepard’s still form heaved and she gasped. It was weak and she did not even open her eyes. At the same time the monitor beeped once and the flat line peaked. The nurse instantly put a bag valve mask over Jane’s face and began pumping. The monitor began reading a steadying heartrate.  
“We have to get her to the med-bay and intubate her until the pancuronium bromide clears out of her system.” The two guards returned and helped the medical staff roll Shepard away.  
As soon as the execution chamber was left empty Rear Admiral Alvarado demanded sternly.  
“What is the meaning of this, lieutenant-commander?! You just interrupted the dispensing of justice long overdue. So you better have a very good reason for this.”  
Ashley looked at him and stood high, every inch the indomitable marine.  
“The cancelling order for Commander Shepard’s death sentence suspension was issued under false pretences.”  
“What?! This is impossible!” A committee woman stepped forward. Williams recognised her as Vice Admiral Mia Asenov.  
“I’m sorry, admiral, but it’s true. Phil Mitchells law suit against the Alliance is fabricated. Judge Abel Ebner, who is listed as leading the judiciary and having announced the verdict, has been out of Alliance court for five years and is working here on the Citadel as an advisor to the Galactic Law Counselling Commission. I personally spoke to him and he denied having even heard of such a trial. His signature on the documentation was falsified and there is no evidence that the law suit ever existed outside of the SCD case files.”  
“If that is true, the Alliance has allowed a huge oversight to happen.” Asenov said then turned to the personnel woman. “Sergeant! Contact the Military Police and get them to start investigating immediately. Lieutenant-Commander Williams, I assume you acted as a Spectre on this one?”  
“Yes, ma’am.” Ashley nodded curtly.  
“Then I ask you to assist the Military Police and provide them with all gathered information on the case.”  
“Aye-aye, admiral.”  
“Asenov, are you really going to fall for this? A whole trial fabricated? It’s preposterous!” Alvarado intervened.  
“The whole situation was already suspicious enough in the beginning. A law suit not interrupted by the war? I was amiss to not investigate myself. Everything was just perfect to make this Committee agree that execution was the only course of action.” The vice admiral replied.  
“She deserves it! For God’s sake, she has already been sentenced to death for fifteen years! Delaying that long is our first and only mistake!” The Argentinian was fiery.  
“In your place I’d be careful what I say, Alvarado. You’re already a prime suspect for this mess in my book. Every chance you got you protested against Shepard. The whole Alliance knows you disapprove of her. I just thought you wouldn’t compromise your standing in the military for that.”  
“I’ve not compromised anything, Asenov. There’s no proof I was involved in any of this. There’s even no proof that trial was a fabrication. An unauthorised investigation? All evidence is considered compromised.”  
“Spectres are authorised to launch investigations on their own and act without supervision. And the Alliance conforms to Galactic Law.” Ashley cut in evenly.  
“The Military Police will do their job. If you’re involved in this, you will face the consequences, Alvarado. If not, then I hope you don’t do something stupid in the future.” Admiral Asenov said then addressed the whole Committee. “It’s my turn to give my opinion about all this, just like Admiral Alvarado did. Right now Shepard is the only reason any of us are still alive and have a fighting chance. And in light of her exemplary service to the Alliance and her overall bettered conduct I think it’s time we lay off. Whatever she was in the past the commander is a changed woman now. We have all watched her closely and know this to be true, but even only her recent incarceration is proof enough that it is. So, I put forward for discussion the subject-matter of a full pardon.”  
Most of the Committee members, Bronston included, began nodding with approval.  
“Are you serious?!” Alvarado raised his voice sharply. “Have you seen the corpses of the Loris family? It’s brutal, cruel, inhuman, devoid of any and all sympathy. And who knows how many other vicious crimes she has committed before we caught her. Not to mention she was with Cerberus and caused the death of three hundred thousand people! She doesn’t deserve to breathe another second yet you suggest we absolve her?! This is not justice!”  
“I know perfectly well what Shepard is guilty of. But this is neither the time nor the place for this argument. This Committee will hold an official discussion once everything involving the current case is resolved. And hopefully in the presence of both Jane Shepard and David Anderson, unlike this supposed trial.”  
“I agree.” One of the other members said and the rest joined him.  
One by one the Alliance officers left the observation room. Only Mia Asenov was still there when the sergeant returned.  
“The Military Police is already investigating, ma’am. And the news from the medical bay says Commander Shepard is still unconscious but alive.”  
“Thank you, sergeant. You’re free to return to your duties.”  
“Admiral.” The woman saluted and left.  
Until now Liara had stood stunned and unable to tear her eyes from the execution chamber on the other side of the one-way mirror. But when the sergeant said that Shepard was alive the dam inside her broke.  
“Ooooh…!” She let out trembling weak exclaim and her legs collapsed under her. If not for Garrus who grabbed her by the arms and held her, she would have fallen. For a moment she let herself be overtaken by the powerful emotions, shaking from choked back sobs.  
“I am sorry for all the pain this has caused you.” Mia Asenov’s voice sounded gently above her and she looked up at the vice admiral whose face showed sincere compassion. “I truly am. You didn’t deserve any of this. All of you.” She looked at the Normandy trio in front of her. “Thank you for stopping this before it was too late.”  
She saw their somewhat surprised and confused looks and smiled wisely much like Dr. Chakwas would have.  
“I know the world is not black and white. Shepard and her case were never that clean cut and dry either. She has been abused and manipulated by vile people her whole childhood. Her guilt is not absolute and she is not the monster she believes she is. Oh, yes, I know she does. Don’t be surprised, there’s a reason I’m a vice admiral in the Alliance Committee. The truth is the commander is a complicated person but she has always been good at her core. And the proof is standing right in front of me. She couldn’t have earned your respect, admiration, friendship and love otherwise.”  
“She has done so much more than that.” Garrus was adamant.  
“I see that, too. This is why I believe she deserves to be pardoned.”  
“Thank you, admiral. This means a lot.” Said Ashley.  
“Unlike Alvarado, you and I can see people beyond their mistakes. I know I learned it the hard way. But I wonder if you three had a little help.” Asenov gave them a meaningful look. The others returned betraying smiles at her and she grinned lightly. Then she turned to Ashley. “I’m proud of you, Lieutenant-Commander Williams. You did good today and there’s no doubt in my mind a great career is ahead of you.”  
The brunette stood straighter and nodded gratefully. Then the admiral looked at Liara.  
“Dr. T’Soni, why don’t you head to the med-bay? I think it’s time for a better ending. Go to her, you have both earned it.”  
The maiden gazed at Asenov with eyes full of gratitude then without a word rushed through the door. The admiral nodded at Garrus and Ashley and followed the asari out of the room albeit at a much calmer pace. The turian and the brunette glanced at each other and sighed heavily with relief before leaving the execution block.

During the following night Liara was sitting by Shepard’s bed in the med-bay watching over her sleeping form. Thankfully, the human was just resting now. The deathly substances had cleared out of her system and the ventilator was removed having done its job. In the dimly lit quiet room the red-head stirred slightly and her eyes opened slowly.  
“Jane.” The maiden bent over her and caressed her hair.  
“Liara? How…? What happened?” The woman was understandably confused. The last thing she remembered was losing consciousness on the execution slab. She had not expected to wake up again, much less with her lover by her side.  
“It’s okay. You have nothing to worry about. The execution was stopped.”  
“But why? I thought… that was it.”  
“Me too. But it’s not important now. You should rest. We can talk about this when you feel better.” The maiden said gently seeing as her bondmate was still a bit pale and looked tired.  
Yet Shepard took hold of the asari’s wrist and stopped her from tucking her in.  
“No. Please, tell me now.” She propped herself on her elbow and gazed at Liara stubbornly.  
The archaeologist sighed and shook her head lightly but complied.  
“The order to cancel the suspension of your sentence was issued under false pretences. A law suit against the Alliance was fabricated to force the Committee’s hand.”  
“A trail? I hadn’t heard of this.” Jane frowned deeply.  
“Exactly. You should at least be informed if your case is reviewed. But it wasn’t. The whole thing was made-up.”  
“But why? And now of all times? Was it something I did or… Was it Cerberus?” The red-head could not remember stepping on someone’s toes in the Alliance recently. The terrorist organisation was going to benefit the most of this whole situation.  
“We thought so too in the beginning. Vice Admiral Bronston of the Alliance Committee has past ties with Cerberus and Kai Leng. But he turned out to be clean. In the past several hours the Alliance Military Police has been working over-hours to get to the bottom of this. And we just received news that Rear Admiral Alvarado is behind everything.”  
“Right. He never liked me. Wait. We? You and who else?” Jane knit her brows expectantly.  
“Ashley and Garrus of course. Nobody else knows about your history. The Alliance still classifies it as top-secret.”  
“That’s to be expected. But what will happen to me now?” Shepard noticed she was not restrained in any way to her bed and there were no guards in the room. Perhaps she was no longer detained?  
“For now your deal resumes the way it was before the SCD arrested you. But…” Liara made a pause and the commander’s heart shrank with trepidation. Yet the maiden smiled slightly. “The Committee considers having a discussion after everything settles down. And the subject is a potential full pardon.”  
“You serious?” Jane plumped down on her pillow and stared at the ceiling with a stunned expression. She could not make heads or tails of this.  
“For now it’s only a proposal for discussion nothing more. It will probably take quite some time before the Committee actually puts it on their agenda. And even then it’s not certain if they would actually vote on whether or not to absolve you. Regardless, I thought this was good news. Yet, you seem conflicted.” The maiden’s smile lessened a bit.  
“I know, I know. But it’s just… unexpected. And you know how I feel about my past. It kinda feels wrong somehow that I get away with it without even the smallest penalty.”  
“Without penalty?! Jane, you were almost executed today! You have spent almost fifteen years with a death sentence hanging over your head while you were on an Alliance leash, constantly under their supervision. You may think otherwise but in reality this is you serving time even if it was not in literal lockup. And to top it all off you even died while doing your duty to the Alliance! If Cerberus hadn’t brought you back, your deal with the Alliance would have been over three years ago.”  
The commander looked at Liara with words on her lips. But in the end she did not say anything. The asari got even more emotional.  
“Shepard, even the Committee members seem to think you’re a good person. They’ve been watching you closely since the deal was made. Something during this whole time must have convinced even them you deserve a chance. And Garrus and Ashley felt so betrayed when we found out but they too understood things were not black and white. If not for their efforts, you would’ve gotten the last injection. And they wouldn’t have done all that if they thought you were bad. Whatever you’ve done in the past and are doing now cannot change the fact that you are a good person. You’re the only one who still has doubts about it. So, please, you made me a promise. Remember that new self-awareness you found, the realisation that you are doing good. Don’t let a misguided near-execution ruin everything you built these last several weeks.”  
The red-head gazed at her beloved vulnerably. In the end she nodded lightly, closing her eyes for a brief moment.  
“Okay, okay. You’re right. I made you a promise and I will do everything in my power to keep it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be free of doubt but as long as I have sight of all the right decisions I’ve taken I think I will be fine.”  
The maiden laughed gently with happiness and her eyes became glossy. But this time she did not cry. Instead when Jane took hold of her forearm and pulled her lightly, she leaned over her and the two of them kissed deeply, passionately, with powerful love. It took considerable effort from each of them to finally separate and supply their bodies with necessary air.  
“So, a full pardon? You know, I never thought I might get a chance to have a normal life. My crimes were too grievous for anyone, including myself, to even consider that I could get something other than a death sentence. And now someone dared mention a possible pardon? I was always sure I was gonna die in the hands of the Alliance one way or another. My fate was already written: serve until I’m finally killed. The military would’ve breathed a collective sigh that the uncomfortable and dangerous convict is no longer an issue and then washed its hands in front of the justice system. But now… There’s a possibility for a different outcome, a possibility I could get free to choose.” The commander knit her brows with uncertainty. “Should I do something? Dare I make plans for the future? Hah, God knows I’ve never had one of those. Yet… with the Reapers breathing down our throats this seems foolhardy.”  
“Don’t think like that. I have faith in you. You will get us through this. And I believe you will get your chance at freedom. So, you might as well give those plans a try.”  
“Then I already know what I want. I want to spent my life with you.”  
Liara cupped Shepard’s cheek and pressed their foreheads together.  
“I love you, Jane.”  
“I love you, too, Liara.”  
They kissed again and lost themselves in each other.  
After a while the commander fell asleep, still a bit tired after all the stress on her system. The maiden was awake though watching over her. In the silence her omni-tool blipped once and she thanked herself she had lowered the volume beforehand. Liara looked at the interface. One of her Broker agents had sent her a message. She had assigned him to investigate Phil Mitchells and the Wolgans two days ago. And now her curiosity was peaked. She opened the message to read it.  
‘Phil Mitchells has no connection to the Wolgan family or to Christina Loris. His foster parents’ name is Johnson. His full bio is attached. The information about the Wolgans is scarce. The only thing I have for now is that the child they adopted was a girl.’  
On a hunch Liara typed a response to her agent.  
‘Your next step is to acquire the dossier of Jane Doe IV from the orphanage in downtown Chicago. Send it to me as soon as you have it.’


End file.
